I’m having one hell of a day. And by that I mean a perfectly nightmarish one. My uterus has declared war on my body like never before – and is punishing me with excruciating period cramps for whatever sins it thinks I have committed against it. I get cramps every month, but this month seems to be special. I clutched a heating pad to my tummy for a good hour after waking up, and then dragged my ass to work. Now I am working through my day, feeling mildly suicidal. And I have a party to go to in the evening, for which I have a spanking new dress that I fell slightly in love with when I bought it yesterday.
With the cramps has arrived their awesome friend, bloating. That inescapable, monthly phenomenon that almost every woman I know goes through. And this month I am saying: to hell with it.
I am not a ‘skinny chick’ any longer – I used to be before age and PCOD caught up with me. It took a while for me to get used to how different my body is now compared to what it was way back in college. Now I have bulges that I can’t be bothered to camouflage. Little bumpy bits that no workout has managed to smoothen out. And I am saying: to hell with it.
I am fitter today than I used to be when I took my leanness for granted. I try to stay as active as I possibly can be, I eat better, I don’t drink too much. I try to make time for exercise so that I continue to be fit. As for my long-lost flatness-of-tummy? To hell with it.
So here’s the point I am trying to make. My weight will fluctuate depending on how diligent I am about my fitness regimen. My bumps will be more visible or less visible based on what I am wearing. My cramps will be painful or survivable according to the whims of my hormonal balance (that I try very hard not to upset). My tummy will be bloated or not depending on how benevolent my uterus is feeling towards me.
These are not things that I can control in their entirety without surrendering my life to the kind of exercise and diet schedule that is highly unfeasible considering the hours I work, the life that I lead, and my appreciation for food. So, well, what am I to do? Feel sad about it all? To hell with THAT.
I will wear that damn dress because it is pretty and it makes me feel happy. How my body looks does not define me. How I choose to deal with life – that is what matters.
I will wear that dress and I will look amazing – because I am awesome like that.
Images: Pradipta Sarkar
