There comes a point in every girl’s life when it’s time for that conversation – when the next step in her relationship is one towards the bedroom! After all, if you’re involved with someone, chances are you’re pretty interested in jumping his bones – and that’s natural and normal and basically what every human being wants, really! But if you’re feeling nervous, and you aren’t quite sure how to tell him that you’re ready, don’t worry – we’re here to help! Here are a few pointers on how to talk about sex and tell your partner you’re ready to sleep with him. Good luck!!
No, we don’t mean muttering to yourself like you’re losing it. Just make sure you have thought this through and are ready for it. Sex changes a relationship, in both big ways and small, depending on where the two of you are at. Once you’ve been naked and done the deed with someone, you can’t pretend that it didn’t happen! So be sure of yourself, about what you want. If you talk about sex to yourself and ask the question “Do I really want to do this?” and the answer is “Yes”, then you have nothing to worry about! But if the answer is “Maybe…”, then give yourself some more time to think about it, then ask yourself again.
No, ladies, it’s absolutely not true that all men want to have sex all the time! Plenty of them feel the same degree of caution and often shyness about sex that many women do. So try and read the signals he is sending to you. Does he seem comfortable touching you? Has he expressed his interest in getting physically intimate? If yes, then great. If not, talk about sex and try to figure out what he feels about the subject – and it’s possible to do it subtly! Even a pop-culture reference can be the starting point of a conversation. “Oh, I really like the way those guys got together in that movie…” is as good a way of bringing up the topic as any! And remember that if it doesn’t seem like he’s there yet, that’s fine too – all you need to do is wait for him to catch up (and gently nudge him along!).
Have you guys been making out? If yes, then it’s time to amp it up a notch. Talk about sex and whisper into his ear the next time that you want “more”. He’s a smart guy – he will figure it out! And if you haven’t started exploring the physical side of your relationship at all yet, set the mood to get things rolling. Invite him over for a quiet evening in, snuggle up to him while watching a movie… If he is into you (and we’re pretty sure he is, given that he is with you), he will get the message!
No matter what people say, it’s perfectly normal to feel nervous and tongue-tied when it comes to talking about sex, or even the possibility of it! That’s when your phone comes in so handy. Text him, sext him. Not being in the same room can be an immensely liberating thing – take full advantage of that. Sent him a (shamelessly!) flirty message or two…he will get the drift.
The day before you have a big presentation at work, or right when he’s expecting a visit from his parents – these are not good occasions for the talk! After all, you guys are probably stressed about other things in life – don’t risk this feeling like a burden as well. A day of the week when you’re both relaxed and feeling okay about life – that’s a good time. Maybe over a Sunday brunch with a bottle of wine!
When you’re telling (or texting) him about your interest, always, always do it in private! In the middle of a crowded party or while you’re hanging out with all your friends or having dinner with his family – so NOT the right place to talk about sex. After all, it’s not just about you telling him – he needs the mindspace to absorb what you’re saying, and can respond appropriately too!
Nerves, nerves, nerves – yes, we know how that feels! But remember that this is a stage that every couple in a relationship comes to, and every couple manages to successfully deal with it too! If you guys are together, you like each other already, so a slightly embarrassed conversation is hardly likely to break you up – and talking about sex is something that can potentially build a greater degree of emotional intimacy too. And you will be able to laugh about the awkwardness someday! So take a few deep breaths, calm your nerves down, and practice your moves (or your speech)!
After all, you are thinking about getting naked with him, aren’t you? Don’t worry or be embarrassed about talking about sex and telling him what you want. If he is a man worthy of your time and attention, he will appreciate your honesty – and he will definitely appreciate the offer too! Sure, the conversation might be awkward, and you might blush at the thought of saying the words “I want to sleep with you”, but there is NO shame in feeling desire and expressing that desire. After all, once the words are out, the worst is over – you can now anticipate and plan the event!
Go on. Just tell him already. 🙂
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