You may have lost track of the number of times all the aunty-jis in your life have tried to play Cupid with the Indian version of “Let me set you up with an awesome date” – but every time it gets a bit awkward. Starting from the ever-so-boring “Tell me more about yourself” to the mother of the groom singing praises of his son, it can get a tad uncomfortable. Whether it’s a “solo” setup that people have organized for you (we hope so – at least there aren’t other interested parties watching with hawk-eyes!), or the 15 minutes of alone time in a “family” setup – here is your survival guide to get you through the next rishta meeting, without feeling crazy!
Yes, you know all about where he works and stuff – the basic background check has already been done by the matchmakers. Now do your own investigation and get maximum information beforehand. Look up his name on social networks to see if you have friends in common, and check for things that interest him if he has public profiles on Twitter, Instagram, etc. That way at least you would know whether the meeting would be worth it, and that there are enough things to talk about.
Through email, WhatsApp or Skype – get done with the initial jitters and butterflies, and the basic “So what do you like?” type questions answered. Keep things purposeful, though, and don’t get over-friendly or flirtatious – that may be construed as more interest than you are actually feeling.
Ya, seriously…this whole ‘chai pe bulaya hai” situation is NOT easy. Even if you’re doing the modern version – i.e., the coffee date. Change the game, meet at a relaxed buffet brunch at a nice hotel or club. Trust us, you’ll get to know him better in a different setting. It will be less stressful for you both. If nothing else, you can talk about the food you’re eating!
Don’t just wait to be questioned like it’s some kind of a job interview. Ask. Make a mental note of questions, so that if you (or he) get really nervous and draw a blank, these will come as saviours!
So while we ask you to ask, don’t question him like a detective – chances are he’ll run away. Let him finish talking, listen to what he has to say, let him ask you some questions too! The point is to have a conversation, a discussion.
Wear something that you feel comfortable and attractive in, put on some makeup and get ready before time. That way, you’ll feel more relaxed, and be able to fix any wardrobe malfunctions or makeup mishaps, etc. You wouldn’t want to be late because you’re cleaning up eyeliner marks while he’s waiting!
Slip on your best pair of shoes. Not only will it make you feel more confident (and we’re sure your fav pair does just that), but in moments of nervousness, when he stares down, at least he’ll have something awesome to look at. 😛
The best way to combat nervousness is to be upbeat. But don’t go over the top trying to project a different kind of personality either. This could be the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with, so no point in trying to come across as someone you’re not.
Think ahead, in case things go horribly. Or you just feel like you might die from boredom. Mark your escape route in advance. If it’s a family type meeting, then scratch your wrist or play with your bracelet as a cue for someone to interrupt and take you away. And in case you’re meeting him solo, keep an SOS text drafted and ready to hit send, so a trusted friend can call with some “emergency”, allowing you to make a quick getaway. Bachaaaaoooo…phew!!
Feeling excited and interested while you’re spending time with him – excellent. Feeling nervous or awkward – totally understandable, given the situation. But feeling really uncomfortable around a person – that’s your inner voice trying to tell you…bhaaaaaagoooo!!
It’s going to be over in some time, so chill!