Sex has its good moments, it’s bad moments and it’s very, very embarrassing moments! No need to deny it, girls, we’ve all been there! So let’s share our funny and slightly humiliating moments and laugh at ourselves before anybody else can! Here are 10 women sharing their most embarrassing moments during sex!
1. Caught in between
In the middle of a make-out session, my boyfriend asked me ‘Can I go down on you?’ I was super embarrassed but I nodded anyway. My heart was beating really fast – this was the first time that someone was going down on me! When he reached down there though and I felt his tongue, it felt so weird that I ended up snapping my legs shut real fast…with his head still in between! It was undoubtedly, the most embarrassing moment ever!
2. Falling for him, literally!
I went to my boyfriend’s place one afternoon. We were meeting each other after almost six months and were super excited to have sex. You know you tend to get things done as quickly as you can when you wait to get action for so long, right? Soon after I reached his place, we started making out and as things started to get hot and heavy… I actually fell from the bed. Just rolled off! It was hilarious but yeah, kinda embarrassing too.
3. The smelly one!
So my friend hooked me up on a blind date and the guy was genuinely nice all through the evening so when he asked me to come over to his place, I agreed. In the middle of sex, I heard him fart. Thinking that a few embarrassing sounds are totally normal during sex, I continued. After a while, he farted again and this time, it was a smelly one! I didn’t know how to address the situation and he seemed completely unaffected by it! I asked him to stop but he never quite understood why. The second date never happened.
4. The bloody affair
One time, my boyfriend and I finished having sex and I looked down to see blood on his penis. This made him go, ‘Whaaaat? Did your hymen break after, like, 7 months of sex?’ Anyway, we both realized then that the bed was RED! All red! I’d gotten my period in the middle of sex and it looked like the red Nile was flowing on the bed. The worst part? I was at his place with no change of clothes.
5. Perfect… Well, almost.
It was the perfect evening. A candlelit dinner, a movie and then we had planned to get down and dirty. We had been dating for two months and this was going to be our first time. Of course, we wanted it to be special. We entered my house and he started kissing me. Slowly the clothes came off, soon enough we were both in the depths of pleasure. He was almost about to climax when I let out a queef… And boy, was it loud! Or, at least, so it seemed at the time. He laughed it off but let’s just say, we had to work hard, all over again, to get back into the game.
6. Hooked and wounded!
I and my boyfriend were meeting after ages and so, our passion was at an all time high! The minute he entered my house, our lips were glued to each other’s. This was during the winter season and I was wearing a nice, warm and fluffy sweater. What I forgot, however, was that I had recently gotten my nose pierced so when he was taking off my sweater, it got stuck in my nose ring and pulled off my nose ring along with it. I screamed in pain, there was blood oozing out, and the pain was just…horrendous! Needless to say, we spent that day nursing my wound with no sex at all!
7. The one with the mother
His mother knew him and I were dating but I had never really met her. One day, we’re at his place, not expecting his mother to be back for a long time. So we started making out, things went from one thing to another and in about 10 minutes we were naked on his couch. In the heat of the moment, we didn’t hear any sound until the keys turned in the door. I screamed and grabbed his t-shirt to cover my bare body. His mom was, by now, standing in the hallway as he was getting his pants back on. She looked at us for a good two minutes and things were so awkward until I found the strength to mutter, ‘Hello, aunty, it’s nice to meet you!’
We’re married now but it’s a story his mother never forgets!
8. We heard a knock
He had just moved into a new neighbourhood and it was pretty abandoned and a little isolated. We were just roaming around, exploring the area when we pulled over and stopped in the middle of nowhere. It was a plain stretch of road which was a dead end. All there was was lush green farmlands and really romantic. It all started with a kiss and things sped up in no time. We were really carefree because we knew there was nobody in sight for miles… Except we didn’t really! We were in the middle of the act when we heard someone knock on the window! It was a local villager from the surrounding area. He kept knocking, without any shame and his expression was really scary. My boyfriend accelerated and we had to drive half naked to get out of the situation!
9. Orgasm or muscle spasm?
Bright winter afternoon, wine and a rom-com… Sounds perfect right? Well, it sort of was. A few wine glasses later, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other! The little break from the movie suddenly turned into a hot makeout session and as one thing led to another, soon we were going at it, full on. It was all good and I was loving every bit of it until he decided to put my legs over his shoulders to make it more pleasurable. I don’t know about pleasure but I surely got a muscle spasm from it! My leg was hurting so bad that I could hardly focus on the sex. I had to tell him to stop in the middle of everything just so I could stretch my legs and feel better. It was quite embarrassing for me!
10. The catty one
Inspired by the gorgeousness of La La Land, I couldn’t wait to go to a Jazz Club with my boyfriend. Even though he has no interest in dressing up and going to watch a live band perform, he has learnt to go along with the random date nights I plan. It was the perfect evening! He was in his nicest coat and I was wearing my favourite slinky black dress. A few hours of beautiful jazz music and one too many whiskeys later we were back at my place, finishing up the evening in the way we knew best. We were in the thick of the moment when he suddenly stopped kissing my neck and looked up. ‘Did you hear that?’, he asked. I honestly had no idea what he was talking about. He quickly moved and looked under the bed. A cat had snuck into my room somehow! Both of us, half-naked, spent the next 30 minutes chasing it out of the house.The worst part was when my neighbour spotted my boyfriend without his pants! With our buzz and the moment gone, we went straight to bed afterwards.
