The dating world is tough…But if you are an introvert, then it is straight-up a battleground! By definition, introverts are quiet, reserved and they love to stay in their own little world. However, when it comes to dating, it is all about connecting with another person and that’s where most introverts (including myself) face a tough time.
As a fellow introvert, all I can say is we are picky about the people we spend time with. We just want to invest time in genuine people and form meaningful connections. NGL, it can be truly difficult to form a relationship in this world of DM-chat-hookup-block culture.
There are a few challenges that only introverts face when it comes to dating!
Honestly, when I see people posting pictures with their bae on the ‘Gram, the first question I have is where did you guys meet? Then I realised to meet people, I’ll have to actually leave my bed and step out (oh the horror). The fact is that introverts are easily drained by socialising, particularly shallow interactions. Instead of going for a Friday night party, we would rather stay in our rooms with our favourite book/movie. So, when the window for socialisation is already so small for introverts, where can we find a date?
Sure, with the advancement of technology, we have a wide dating pool at our fingers tips but what about the stress of sending the first text? An introvert takes time to open up, but it is often a disadvantage when it comes to online dating.
Let’s make one thing clear, PDA doesn’t mean the relationship is perfect (Thank you for coming to my TED talk!). Introverts often have a tough time expressing their admiration towards their partner in a public setting. This doesn’t mean they don’t love their bae but honestly what’s the harm in keeping the PDA low-key?
Perhaps the biggest challenge most introverts face is finding space for the ‘me-time! We have a limited social battery and feel drained after a day of mingling with people. Social battery refers to a person’s tolerance of being around other people and introverts don’t have much of it (unless we are comfortable with the person). This makes it hard for us to connect with new people and form a connection.
As an introvert, I can’t even count the number of times I have struggled to continue a conversation! We often feel awkward in social gatherings, especially when there’s a lot of small talks. In fact, our disdain for small talk may lead us to avoid meeting new people altogether.
Introverts notice little things that others miss! If someone has sent a message without the usual emojis, it leads to hours of introspecting and overthinking for us. We even notice when someone’s tone of voice doesn’t match their words or small changes in their body language. It might be NBD for people around us, but we can’t let things slide easily.
Here’s a joke to start with: Why don’t introverted trees want to be chopped down? They don’t want to die-a-log (dialogue)! Introverts would do anything to avoid talking about their feelings. So, when we dip our toes in the dating pool, it is hard to let people in! Why can’t we just use telepathy to communicate?
Urgh…Not all introverts are alike! Unfortunately, people don’t get it and simply stereotype us as loners or anti-social. As the popular quote goes, “Introverts are like a slow website. They might be the coolest site, but usually, people don’t wait that long for them to open.”
If all these points left you screaming ‘this is me!’ then dear fellow introvert, just that you aren’t alone!
Feature Image Credit: YouTube