I genuinely hate the generic ‘good guys finish last’ statement because there is a certain charm that comes with dating someone who is a nice person. Our generation is so used to mistaking unhealthy relationships for love, that when a boy actually gives you the time and attention you need, and deserve, you can’t handle it. There is a line from my favourite book, ‘We accept the love we think we deserve’ and, for our generation, no statement has ever been truer. We constantly push away honest people and make space for those who play hard to get, and that’s nothing to be proud of. Someone who loves you enough to help you move your own mountains and that’s the best kind of love.
First things first, let us define ‘nice guys’. They are honest, kind, respectful, caring and overall as rare as freaking unicorns, or so you think. As long as you are looking in the right direction, you’ll come across him and he’ll change everything. Not intentionally, of course. What makes a difference is the fact that he doesn’t want to change you, and that he motivates you to become a better person. He doesn’t believe in mind-games, manipulations or power-play, he doesn’t boast about being charming or a ‘player‘, he understands you and doesn’t have a large ego he needs to defend.
You, too, begin to learn. By default, you may have been a possessive freak in your previous relationship but he makes you calmer by proxy. You don’t need to be insecure anymore or worry about his female friends because he gives you no reason to. You couldn’t be more secure about your relationship with him. He treats you like an adult and you have intelligent conversations about topics where you might disagree but that’s never an argument.
It gets so much easier to plan your weekends because he gives you and his friends quality time, plus he isn’t flaky and, amen to that! The other aspects of your life flourish as well since you aren’t investing all your time and energy in ‘fixing’ your love life. His support nourishes you. Plus, he’s genuinely proud of you! And you’re proud of him.
However, like every perfect situation, this too has a downside. Sometimes it seems too good to be true and you might find yourself questioning your choices, and him. The moral dilemmas come and go on a daily basis. But aren’t those wonderful problems to have?
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