We would all agree that Indian aunties just don’t deal well with awkward silences. As a species, they are often known to make it 10x more weird with awkward small talk! Especially when they see a 20-something girl, you can almost see their radar go into a bleeping frenzy and all sorts of nonsensical questions find their way out, like that broccoli sandwich after three extra drinks. From your weight, to your love interests, to your shaadi plans, to your school grades, they want to get the full details on it all! Here are some of those annoying small talk questions that simply make us scream, “None of your business!”
1. “Beta, shaadi kab karne ka plan hai? Dekho {insert random relative’s name} ki bhi shaadi ho gayi hai, ab tumhari baari hai!”
You’ll find it funny, aunty, but my answer is similar to your son’s at the moment.
2. “Oh my god, you’re so grown up now! I saw you when you were a tiny thing!”
Seriously? I met you just last month!!
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3. “Kitni patli ho gayi ho! Why don’t you eat anything? Oh wait! You must be on a diet again!”
Remember your childhood days when your teacher made you zip your mouth and throw the key away. Let’s do that again, please?
4. “Aur padhai kaisi chal rahi hai?”
I just changed my third job! Seriously, woman, get your facts right!
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5. “Beta, uss din tumhe mall mein ek ladke ke saath dekha tha. Kaun tha woh?”
Aunty, are you interning with the C.I.D.? Because hats off to your spying skills!
6. “Kuch khaana banana seekha hai ya abhi bhi sirf maggi expert ho tum?”
Ever heard of the phrase ‘live and let live’?
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7. “Inne nikke nikke kapde pehan kar ghoomti ho, papa kuch kehte nahi?”
You know nothing about fashion, aunty Snow.
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8. “Abroad se padh kar aa gayi?”
No, I’m still on my way back. See you later, alligator!
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9. “Koi ladka pasand aya toh batao? Main baat chalati hu…”
Dammit! I have been doing my love life wrong. All I needed was you as my wing woman, aunty!
10. “Shaadi ho gayi? Great. Khush khabri kab de rahi ho?”
It never stops, does it?!
GIFs: Giphy
