With delicious food, beautiful ceremonies and loads of relatives, Indian weddings are the perfect mix of fun and traditions. But apart from all our loved ones, there are some truly annoying (read nosy) rishtedaars that we come across during such events. And god forbid if you're single and over 25, because the matchmaker aunties are going to have a field day with you!
It all starts with 'beta kahan kaam karte ho?' and then escalates to 'Vo dekh, Sharma ji ka beta, Mintu...baat chalun teri?'. And we promise you, it gets worse when they start getting you rishtas because 'shaadi ki umar ho gayi hai'. Just the thought of them is probably making you cringe but this time, you don't need to freak out when you see the barrage of matchmaker aunties coming your way. We've got some full-proof ways of avoiding these 'accidental' meet-cutes.
Most matchmaker aunties don't enjoy an upfront conversation about their behavior. Let them know that it's grossly inappropriate for them to set you up with someone when you're just not interested.
Just put it out there. Let your own personal Sima aunty know that shaadi ain't ever gonna happen. Sure, it's going to be a cultural shock for them but it'll shut them up. But be warned, it could result in a lecture session with your parents.
The moment you see an aunty heading your way, just flee. Focus on the food because we all know it's much better than shaadi ki baat.
Considering that they're going to be finding you your 'the one', why not give them the list of all things you're looking for in a guy? Also, hand them the list of your demands including that 10 lakh ki solitaire ring and monthly shopping budget.
As much as it pains my heart to say this, you just gotta waste some of that delicious khaana or juice to get rid of the aunties. We all make mistakes, just make another one to get the nosy aunty off your back.
Tell the matchmaker aunty about divorce statistics, including stories of all the people you know who’ve been through it. Don't forget to tell her that not getting married is the best way to avoid a divorce.
Revenge can be a fun way to get out of the situation but mind you, this will get the rumour mill churning with speculations about you. Flirt with the waiter or the guy next to you or maybe even the girl. And make sure to completely ignore their marital status.
Tell them about your non-existent secret shaadi. Don't forget to ask them to keep it a secret because your parents don't know about it. And then watch them squirm uncomfortably or go into shock!
Sure, we all have good manners but it's time to show them the bad side to scare them away. Eat with your mouth open, act drunk or just start using words that make them cringe.
Let us warn you, these ways could get you in trouble. And god save your soul if all this reaches your parents...but hey at least you’ll get the aunties off your back!