Let’s start with a little backstory, shall we?
Aarav and I had practically become versions of each other. I mean, we have been dating for almost nine years and I know him as I know myself, inside out. We had done it all, taken trips together, made appearances in each other’s relatives ki shaadis and even lived together for three years when we both decided to take up jobs in Bombay to stay away from parents. And the sex-ah, it is pornstar-level good, no actually better than them because we never faked it. So you must be wondering, so why did we take a sex hiatus in our relationship?
It was because our sex was way too good. Don’t make faces. Read what I have to say first.
First, let me introduce you #Naarav, that’s us (Nandini and Aarav) and this corny hashtag was given to us my childhood bestie, Rhea as she knows how much I hate all this. Aarav and I started to date when we were nanha munhas (school time) and we have basically grown up with each other. I knew everything about him. The story behind every scar on his body, his favourite colour, what was he reading and all of his pleasure points.
Going back to five years ago, when we were living together in Mumbai, we got extremely close to each other. Too close. Bed, washroom, car, roof, balcony, kitchen, elevator shaft, guard room, swimming pool, gym- there wasn’t a single place where we hadn’t marked our territory.
“I love your sex face so much”, he used to say.
“I love doing you so much”, was my reply.
We were having sex nonstop. Practically to a point where I couldn’t imagine him not being anywhere but inside of me. And yes, it was getting too much. Like an addiction getting out of hand.
I mean one day I had to take a leave from the office because I couldn’t walk. And he took an off to take care of me.
And that is the day we spent talking, for hours and I was getting really irritated by him. Every time I initiated a topic about our future, he brushed it aside by saying something extremely dumb like, “We’ll have plenty of time to discuss that, abhi I just want you” or “I’m really not in a mood for serious things, you know what I’m in the mood for”.
And that was it. I was suddenly getting aggravated by each word he was uttering. Seriously Aarav, what did I see in you?
“What do you see me as?”, I asked him. “My stressbuster”, he said in a trite voice.
Like seriously, that is what I am to you?! I was appalled. Every cell in my body wanted to harm him in 1000 different ways. “Haha”, I replied before hitting the shower.
Oh, I cried. I cried for a few looong minutes that felt like an eternity. I couldn’t believe that I had spent more than half of my precious life with this loser. I knew that I had to do something. I came outside and I told him that I'm still hurting and I need to go see a doctor. He said that he’ll come along but I said no and he agreed, immediately. Suddenly, he doesn’t want to be around his ‘stressbuster’ anymore?
I went out to spend a day at the parlour. I got my nails done, hair trimmed and all the things I hadn’t done in so long. I felt so happy, like a kid at a candy store. On my way back home, I decided that I cannot let this pig enjoy my awesome company and changes need to be made STAT.
“I cannot have sex” I announced as soon as I entered our flat. His facial expressions changed faster than a racing car. “What do you mean that you can’t have sex?" he asked. “The doctor said that an internal tissue has been harmed and I need to stay away from sex for at least 6 weeks”. “Oh”, was his reply.
He didn’t even ask me about the ‘fake’ pain but the smirk on his face said it all. He was proud that his little boy did THAT.
(If you’re reading this Aarav, I was faking it! Your little boy is as useless as you are).
Things had changed between us would be the understatement of the year. I suddenly saw a change in him. He was giving more attention to his phone and taking unusually long baths. We suddenly become very platonic with each other. Like ”did you eat?”. “No, did you?”. What was even happening? I couldn’t get my head around this changed behaviour but thankfully I had to go to Pune for a retreat and for the first time, I was glad to be away from him. I had such a great time, meeting new people, flirting. It’s like I forgot I had a boyfriend.
When I returned, things only went downhill but I wasn’t really focusing on that. I spent longer hours at the office, doing some freelance things, made new girlfriends, went out for drinks. I was having so much fun. I had so much time for myself that I couldn’t believe it. When my good 6 weeks were over, he started to drop subtle hints but I ALWAYS made an excuse and went out, even if it was to get groceries.
In the end, you guess it right, #Naarav naa raha but I found me, again and that is what really matters, right?
No, I do not miss him but sometimes miss the sex.
I still wonder to this date. Was I really in love with him or was he also an addiction?
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