Most of us love being in a relationship. That feeling of companionship, comfort, and love that comes from being in a committed relationship is unmatched. Your partner is your best friend and you share a bond with them where you can tell them everything you want and share your deepest feelings. You can sit in comfortable silence with each other binging on Netflix or go out and paint the town red, depending on your mood. But the sign of a truly healthy relationship is the one where you two maintain your own independence despite being together. If it ever feels like you're losing your identity in a relationship, it's time you take some steps to ensure the relationship is an interdependent one, not a co-dependent one!
Make sure you follow as many points as you can!
One of the most important things you can do to be more independent and self-reliant is to have your own career. Having a job or a business of your own will ensure you spend some time with other people as well as give you financial independence. This will ensure you're not dependent on your partner for anything and the only thing you ask from them is love.
Stop basing your happiness on your partner's actions and learn to take responsibility for what you're feeling. Sometimes, we feel that our partner is supposed to make us happy and it is their duty to make sure you're secure and content. But at the end of the day, the only person who can make you feel anything is you yourself.
If you've been in a relationship for a long time, your friend circles may have been combined and now you share friends. But even then, it is important to sometimes go out without your girlfriends and spend time with them. This not only builds trust and confidence between the two partners but also increases appreciation for each other.
Have your own hobbies, something you love to do even if your partner does not share your passion for it. Spend a little time every day or whenever you can to do this activity whether it is dancing, singing, painting or even playing some video games. This will help you unwind from the stress of the day and have an outlet that keeps you young at heart. Also, sometimes sharing this interest with your partner will only make you two feel like you're bonding on a whole other level.
It may so happen that your beliefs are contradictory to your partner's and you two can't seem to reach a middle ground. It is at those times that you need to agree to disagree. But at the same time, it is equally important to hold on to your core beliefs and things you believe in with your whole heart. Unless of course one of you realizes that you were wrong. Then, keep your ego aside and admit that you might've been mistaken.
While you might have mastered the art of saying no, it's equally important to learn to accept a 'no'. Thinking that you can behave any way you want while your partner has to always do things according to you can lead to an unhealthy balance of power in a relationship and make you more dependent on them. If you're always waiting for them to respond the way you want, you're creating co-dependency.
No two people are the same and that is the case for you and your partner as well. Your priorities and things you value can be different. You may be all about work while they may want to concentrate on the relationship. You may love to go out often and they may be homebodies. So figure out what your priorities are and understand theirs. It'll lead to acceptance, freedom, and compromise - things that hold major significance in a healthy relationship.
If you feel that something is happening that you don't feel is right, speak up. Do not hold yourself back from giving your opinion because you're scared of a fight or losing the other person. Clearly, a relationship where you cannot express what you feel for the fear of ridicule is not a healthy one.
One of the easiest but most important ways to be independent in a relationship is to love yourself for who you are. Knowing your worth and refusing to accept anything less than that will not only help you find healthier relationships, it'll also make sure you are not overly dependent on anyone.
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