Let me give it to you straight up – it’s not always as rosy and romantic a picture as painted in the Ashton Kutcher-Mila Kunis film ‘Friends With Benefits’. After being in a ‘friends with benefits’ situation I came to realise that this game is not for everyone to play and win. There are very clear ground rules and following each one of them is necessary to actually make it through and keep it fun all along.
These Are The Lessons I Learned From Having Friends With Benefits
Take note if you’re getting into one.
You both HAVE to be on the same page
Or else you’re doomed! It’s as simple as that. It has to be clear to both parties that this association is only for the physical benefits and that it will NOT go beyond that under any circumstances.
Intimacy must be limited to sex only
Romantic cuddles, kisses and hugs are for lovers, if I may say so. Keep your intimacy limited to the under the sheets action only.
What you want in a future partner is more clear
While FWB worked out well for me while it lasted, I also realised that eventually, I did want the real thing. The romance, the doting boyfriend with whom I’d go to cute cafes on dates and with whom I’d exchange Valentine’s Day presents!
Sleepovers are a big NO!
Just because that can get awkward at times. And even if you do end up staying over, make it a point to wake up and leave straight away, and don’t extend it into breakfast and too much of talking. Besides, the idea is to do your business and leave. Keep that in mind always.
If things start to become complicated, abort mission
The idea of being friends with benefits is that it is nothing beyond what you’re in it for. Stay in this until you both truly are FWB. The moment feelings creep in, it’s best to get out of this arrangement because one of you is bound to get hurt in this situation. Well, we all know there’s nothing worse than being friendzoned and unrequited love, right?
The expiration date will come sooner than you expect
This sort of arrangement can go on for long or bomb in a matter of a few weeks. However, if it does continue, make it a point to rethink this three months into it and see for yourself what exactly you want.
The final goodbye will be awkward
Be easy about it. Don’t overthink the end and just focus on all the good things that came with this arrangement. Just remember that even if you feel miserable, the sex was totally worth it. Take it with a pinch of salt, say goodbye and move on!
