Ex-Sex: Is Hooking Up With An Old Flame A Bad Idea?

Ex-Sex: Is Hooking Up With An Old Flame A Bad Idea?

It is hard to fall out of old habits, right? It's human tendency to like things that feel familiar and comfortable. So we totally get it if you are thinking about rekindling that spark with an ex. It's only normal to want to fall back into your comfort zone. However, getting involved with someone you have had a past with can be tricky. When it comes to hooking up with an ex, you have to weigh the pros and cons carefully or you might find yourself right back where you started.

Why do we feel the need to hook up with an ex?


The appeal is very obvious - You know this person and have seen them through thick and thin. You know how they are in bed and you know what to do and when. It can be a bit overwhelming (and amazing) to be in the zone with someone you have had great sexual chemistry with.

On the other hand, hooking with someone new comes with its own set of challenges. What to do? How to build the rapport? What is a good time to lean in for a kiss? Will he/she like what I'm doing? Is this too much? There are a million questions that run through our head. 

We all want to just skip the problems and take the easy way out, right? This is why it is common for people to turn to their ex for a casual hook up. However, some actually hope to rekindle the romance, you know? How healthy is that? While the odds of that are pretty rare, we still have that 'let's get back together' thought at the back of our head.

When is the right time to hook up with an ex?


There may be a lot of perks involved while getting it on with your ex, but honestly, it is not the best thing to do. It's easy to have them on speed dial for a booty call but it can really mess with your head, especially if it was a recent breakup. Ask yourself these questions - Will you think about them after that one night is over? Will you land yourself in an emotional turmoil? If the answer is yes, then you may regret hooking up with your ex. No matter how long it may have been since you guys broke up if you feel you might end up catching feelings, it's best to stay away from any kind of ex-sex. 

However, for some couples, it's actually an act of closure. I remember one of my best friends finally got closure after randomly hooking up with her ex. She called me saying, "OMG, I don't know what I liked in him. He was so dull today. I think I am finally over him". But the odds of this happening to you are pretty bleak. So, ladies, if the subtext of your text is booty, then make sure you are over your ex. Otherwise, you might land yourself in a pool of emotions and that is never a good thing.

But before you rekindle with an ex...

Make sure you're completely over them

If you're going to get back under the sheets with an ex, you should make sure that you are completely over each other. If either one of you have any expectations or feelings, it will end up complicating the whole situation. So make sure you and your ex are on the same page before you dive into the deep end!

Don't have any expectations


It's normal to have expectations from a partner that we're dating or a good friend, but when it comes to a one night stand with your ex, it's always best to go in with NO expectations. After all, nobody wants to end up disappointed, right? 

Use Protection

You may or may not have used protection in the past (please always use protection) but things are different now. Your ex may or may not be involved with a lot of other people. Apart from unplanned pregnancy, there are a lot of other risks that are involved with unprotected sex, so make sure you use a condom when you hook up with an ex-flame.

Don't fall back into the old routine

It's normal to fall back into the old routine where you want to grab some food after the session or cuddle with each other. But remind yourself that you no longer belong with this person, refrain from asking them any personal questions and talking about your own feelings.

Don't talk about the past


You may have been hurt in the past but don't have to let them know. Remind yourself that you are here for just the sex and the self-loathing conversations will do you no good. It is also better that you keep all conversations generic, short, sweet and free of any emotions - past or present.

Final verdict

Sex with an ex is not something that everyone can do (or should do). You have to weigh the pros and cons and it all really depends on much time has passed. Sometimes, no matter how long it's been you still don't get over an ex. Seeing them again can stir up old emotions and pain.

So, ladies, while we want to see you doing your best, know that you are the best judge. But if you can hook up with your ex without hoping to have a future, we say go for it!

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