"Looking for a smart, beautiful, fair, well-educated, slim girl for...." How often have we read these same old regressive lines on matrimonial adverts? It's strange that even in this day and age people have the audacity to measure women in such parameters. And trust us when we say that it's not just limited to matrimony websites. Rishta meetings can be equally mind-baffling! Some men and their families have the most bizarre expectations from their future partners and if these are not fulfilled, of course, they go ahead and reject you.
We asked Team POPxo to anonymously share with us the most random, shocking reasons they were 'rejected' after a rishta meeting.
Arranged marriage meetings are always considered to be a little awkward but I thought let us change this outlook. I met this guy who was well educated and worked at a nice firm. We connected well and he seemed to be quite open-minded. We spoke a lot and I asked him a few questions about his personal life and past, just like he did. I was quite honest about my life too. The lunch ended and he dropped me back home. However, I did not hear from him for days. My mom then called up his mother and we were told that they can't take things forward with us because 'I was quite talkative'. Well, I concluded that they meant I was quite honest. Sorry, but did you want me to lie about my past?
I was rejected by my then boyfriend’s family because I refused to change my interests at work. I was a crime reporter at that time. When I first met my boyfriend’s family, they wanted to know all about my work schedule. I told them everything. My guy was a media professional too and he very well understood what I did at work. While they were happy that I was a journalist and my name appears in a leading daily, they were not comfortable with the fact that I go out in the sun, out in the field every day, interact with policemen on a regular basis. They asked me to change my interest from crime reporting to something a little ‘lighter’. My answer, of course, was, “I wouldn’t because I love what I do.” They left and to my shock, the guy who I thought would be the perfect partner called me in the evening and said his parents won’t agree to the marriage if I didn’t change my decision. And that he was convinced with what they said. “Handling family would be difficult with crime reporting,” he said. I am glad I didn’t give into him.
A family friend suggested a guy who also happened to be a fellow classmate in school and from the little that I remembered, he seemed fine. We agreed to meet and I have to say that it was a fun evening. We had a lot in common and the meeting stretched to a good 3-hours. I went back home feeling happy and I could clearly see a future with him. That night, we both added each other on Instagram. We even told our parents to take things forward. To my surprise, even before meeting me his family decided to scroll through my Instagram account. They found me to be 'too active' on social media and did not like that I regularly post about my life and that I have 'too many' followers. I was asked to delete my account and even the guy thought that this was a minor request by his parents and that I must learn to compromise. After I refused, the guy stopped taking my calls and so did his family.
After an initial rishta meeting between the families, I was asked to talk to the boy. On the phone, he asked me a series of questions, including what will I do if our mothers fall sick at the same time and will I, without asking any questions, follow him to whichever city he gets a new job in. I told him I will go to take care of my sick mother and he can take care of his, and I will only move cities after doing due diligence about my prospects there. He told me things will not work out between us because ‘this is the problem with girls who have too many degrees.’
I was rejected by a boy’s family because, even though they initially liked me, when I went for dinner with him and his sister (older by 2 years), I didn’t call her didi and instead referred to her by name. His mom called mine the next day to say that ‘aapki beti mein tameez nahi hai’. This was so ridiculous that even my mother, who thinks only of my marriage, laughed and hung up.
This guy I met was referred to my family by a common set of friends. He was quite charming and we instantly connected. He admired my achievements and our conversations always flowed naturally. We met a couple of times and after 5-6 dates we knew we wanted our families to get involved. While my parents really liked him, his parents seemed aloof throughout the meeting. We both continued being in touch, but every time I spoke about the future, he would close off or change the topic. It was only after I refused to meet him that he told me that his parents did not approve of me because I was dusky in complexion. He did not agree with their thought process and had been trying to make them understand all this while. I was angry, but I really did like him and stuck around for a bit. When things didn't change even after 2-3 months of being together, I knew I had to say my goodbye.
I was rejected by one of the families I met via an online wedding portal because I earned more than their son! Yes, you read that right. The guy, too, was a lawyer just like me. He was a year elder to me, but I happened to be working at a more renowned firm than his. I was, therefore, rejected for earning Rs 30,000 more than him every month. Can you believe that?!
The most orthodox and yet the most common reason for rejecting a girl- 'You cannot cook'. Yes, I was rejected because I can't cook. While the guy's family apparently had 'no problem' with me working after marriage, they expected me to cook with love for the entire family. When I told them that I can't cook and that hiring a helper is a better option, wrt to my work too, they rejected me.