In India, you don’t get married to a person, you get married to their whole family. Living in a joint family has its own pros and cons, but ask the newlyweds and they will tell you how it fares hard on their sex lives. Ever wondered how couples living with their in-laws manage to steal some private moments knowing that anyone could knock on their door mid-act? Or that their moans could be heard outside the room? Pretty awkward, right?
We asked 7 women to spill the beans on how intimacy and sex get effected when living with the in-laws.
You just can’t close the door and get into the act!
1. “Living in a joint family is fun and all but there are also certain things that you have to sacrifice. I lived with my husband’s extended family for two years and during that time I couldn’t wear anything that would turn on my husband. Forget about sex, we had to be so careful even while hugging or kissing each other. Sex for us was only reserved for the night time, and whenever that happened, it had to be done silently.”
2. “My husband and I came up with a genius plan since we can’t get enough privacy at home. Both of us take leave from work without telling the parents about it. So we leave in the morning on the pretext of going to work and meet up at a hotel. Not only has this helped keep the spark alive, but the thrill of lying and secretly meeting up makes the sex all the more exciting!”
Just wondering what the parents would say when they find out. Perhaps, exactly the same thing that this phone cover from POPxo reads:
3. “After our wedding, I moved in with my husband’s family in their 3-bedroom apartment that was already occupied by 4 adults. Though we had a separate bedroom, it was very awkward for us to go to our bedroom and close the door with the entire family watching TV outside. So we lied to the family that we were studying together for a certification programme and since the noise of the television was distracting, it made sense to close the door. They never knew and we had our privacy.”
4. “Oh, it’s pathetic. You see, there are no chances of creativity because you can’t try anything new in the kitchen or hall. You're restricted to the bedroom. Plus, you can’t make loud noises. It gets so mundane after a while. But the main problem for us was that the washroom of our room also had a common opening from the hall. That just made things worse. Besides the fact that we couldn't even try getting touchy-feely in the shower, disposing of the used condom required a whole lot of planning.”
5. “Every time we want to have a kinky sex session, we tell that it’s a friend’s birthday bash or office party and that we would be back late at night or probably the next morning. We book a hotel and do our stuff! There is no other option if you really want to do more than just vanilla sex”
6. “There are always so many people around us that it’s next to impossible to get some “we” time. When it comes to trying new stuff in bed, we are usually left waiting for my in-laws to take a trip or for us to go on a vacation. But I have to admit that the restrictions make the sex even more exciting when we get to go all out with it.”
7. “We make it pretty obvious. But there’s no other alternative. While the whole family is watching TV after dinner, one of us yawns and goes inside the bedroom. The other follows soon saying they are sleepy. I am sure everyone notices, but is there anything else that we can do?”
Intimacy crisis in a joint family setting is a legit problem, isn’t it? Do let us know if you've faced something similar!
Featured Image: Indian Express