Now that female pleasure is finally an important topic of discussion, the internet is buzzing with terms like 7-minute orgasms, clitoral orgasms and g-spot orgasms. And while we love that we're more open about it, what happens when you can't orgasm at all? According to research, 10-15% of women suffer from anorgasmia, that is, they can never orgasm. Several other women can orgasm, but find it very difficult to.
Not being able to orgasm shouldn't make you feel less than other women or inadequate in any way. Each human body is different, and the more you know yours better, the faster you can figure out how to lead a healthy and fulfilling sexual life. Here are a few things you can do:
Some women can never orgasm naturally. However, if you were able to orgasm before but cannot anymore, the first thing you need to do is to get the root of the cause. Are you on anti-depressants? Have you had a surgical procedure pertaining to your reproductive or sexual organs? Are you on a new type of oral contraceptive pill? Have you had any past sexual trauma? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, we suggest you pay a visit to your gynaecologist--they might be able to diagnose your problem and help you out.
If you're having issues climaxing, we can bet that you've faked it at least once. We get it, it's easier to do that than to give a lengthy explanation about how and why you cannot orgasm. However, if you are in a relationship, then we suggest sitting your partner down and talking things out--the right partner will ask about the various ways they can give you pleasure instead of taking things personally and making it about themselves ("Trust me, I can make any girl come!"). This will help take some pressure off, and you can try new things or enjoy sex without the ultimate goal of reaching the finish line.
Sex isn't a race to the finish line, and an orgasm isn't a medal! Sex is just as pleasurable without the constant pressure of trying to reach the big-O! So the next time you and your partner decide to get down and dirty, just focus on what how you like to be touched, what feels good and what you want out of sex. After all--the journey is more important than the destination! *wink*
If you have been able to orgasm in the past but cannot anymore, then it is possible that your condition is temporary. Reach out to a medical professional and they will examine you and suggest treatment--which may include a change in birth control, switching up your antibiotics or even pelvic floor therapy!
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