To be honest, I don’t remember the first time I masturbated. I was 14 perhaps, or 15. A friend had introduced me to porn and one fine day I decided to watch it alone in my room, under the sheets, with the lights turned off and my phone in my hand. I started with rubbing my clitoris and expected strong vibrations in my body. But nothing happened. In fact, I found the video so disgusting and dirty that I swore I would never do it again!
During my college days, I had an active sex life but the thought of masturbating never occurred. Only when my boyfriend moved to a different city (long-distance sucked!) that I decided to fly solo once again. This time it was different (probably because I had developed a better taste in porn now). For the first few days, all I did was rub my clit vigorously on the outside. I would find the experience pleasurable but the big O was still awaited. One day during a random internet browsing session, I came across an article that described zillions of ways in which women could pleasure themselves. I had found my treasure.
So I bought myself a few sex toys and lubes. Though the initial thought was exciting, I found myself sticking to my good old hand in the first few days. Also, it might sound funny, but during the initial days of my self-love routine, I found it really difficult to concentrate on the task at hand. My mind would distract towards other thoughts- I had to send an email to my boss and I had to buy groceries on the weekend. As a solution, I decided to sext my long-distance beau and replay his messages in my head while touching myself down there. This made me so horny that I needed no porn videos to feel aroused. I kept playing with my body and after a while, the pleasure got so high that I arched my back, moaned loudly and I came. I can’t put into words the feeling of calm and relief that I felt later.
Eventually, this became a ritual for every night. I enjoyed it so much that I used to look forward to doing it. In a week or so, my masturbating sessions were no longer restricted to the night time. I started doing it more often. Basically, whenever I would be lazing around in my room, all alone, I would give myself some self-love. It felt so relaxing, EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
When my month-long endeavour ended, I decided that I will never deprive myself of this self-love that gave me so much pleasure. I don’t masturbate every day now (I have a live-in partner) but I still make sure that I do it whenever I want to make a conversation with my body or simply show some love to it.
Ladies, you can learn a thing or two from my experiences.
Let alone the first few days, I realised that the more I was doing it, the more I was craving for it. Initially, I would not find enough me-time for my solo sex endeavours. But gradually, as I started finding pleasure in it, I would manage to make time for myself. It was like unleashing the sexual energy within me and suddenly here I was wanting more and more of it.
I felt relatively less stressed out. As a result, I slept better. Most of the nights I would doze off within 5-10 minutes of doing my business. Overall, it made me feel so good (not sure whether it was the orgasm or the body positive feelings that masturbation brings) that for once my focus was not pleasing someone else but only pleasing myself.
It really surprised me how creative I could get with my imagination. I would fantasize about things that I had no idea I was into. Things I hardly thought about or watched would make me hot now. I was exploring myself in a way I had never explored before.
I realised there are so many ways in which you can express love to your body than just lying down and letting your hand do all the talking down there. Try different positions (yes, there are positions for solo sex too!) and different toys. Find a style that works for you and keep switching from one to another to not make the experience monotonous and boring.
Masturbation taught me how I wanted my body to be touched. I began telling my partner what is pleasurable for me. It improved our love-making sessions. He liked how confident I was in bed and how I knew what I wanted.
Apart from finding pleasure, masturbation taught me to feel amazing about my body. And don’t all of us deserve to feel amazing? Of course, we do!
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