Believe it or not but porn has always been a part of society. In India, if you go back to the ancient times, we’ve all known graphic imagery of pornographic idols and symbols to be depicted pretty openly. From then to now, having it in high definition with just a click of the mouse, times have changed. But porn is still just as controversial a topic as ever before.
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Porn obviously boils down to a personal choice: some enjoy it occasionally, some are offended by it, others completely avoid it and some people are completely obsessed with it. But like we say about everything else: anything in excess isn’t good and that’s the same thing with porn. So, here’s how to stop watching porn.
What Is Porn Addiction?
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Porn addiction is considered as a behavioural addiction that can be characterised by an ever-growing compulsion to watch pornographic content or material. Earlier there was limited access to this content that was fueling the porn addiction but now with smartphones, the levels have advanced and the content is becoming far more detailed and user-friendly. This is why some studies show that addiction to porn is on the rise.
The implications of porn addiction can be more serious than we realise: people have unreal expectations from intercourse, people in the videos are generally a very specific body type and that puts a lot of pressure to measure up to them. And now with the increase in the number of pornographic videos highlighting violence in intercourse, it teaches people that it’s okay to behave like this in real life as well.
Signs You Are Addicted To Porn
These are the signs which will tip you off that you or your partner might have a serious addiction to pornography.
Not as social as you used to be
You will notice yourself excusing from activities, having unexplained absences and unable to account for your time. You will limit yourself, lose interest in socialising and stop making time for others, including your family.
Lack of interest in sex or are sexually unresponsive
You will notice that there is a gradual decrease in your advances to physical affection and non-sexual touch. Even when you have sex, it’s only when your partner is initiating it. There might be some cases where you have trouble becoming sexually aroused (including, achieving an erection or having an orgasm). Furthermore, you feel largely dissatisfied post-sex.
Practically wed to the Internet
You will find yourself spending an excessive amount of time on your laptop, often demanding privacy. You will rather be practically wed to the internet. As a result of which, you won’t be able to give time to your partner and complain of back, neck, wrist and shoulder pain.
Uncharacteristically demanding or rough during sex
People suffering from porn addiction feel pressured to engage in sexual activities that are either physically or emotionally uncomfortable in the real world. This usually makes you more demanding in the bedroom, you get easily frustrated, and eventually alienate your partner. In some cases, you seem to start objectifying your partner or even use atypical sexual language.
Change in demeanor
Like any other addiction, someone suffering from porn addiction will become easily irritable and angry if they do not watch it. You will have trouble calming down and sleeping if you delay watching porn. In such situations, it only seems easier to lash out at your partner while it’s you who is feeling more irritable, agitated, or even erratic.
Is It Really An Addiction?
Porn addiction doesn’t really qualify as a mental illness and the data to prove it is relatively low. There’s a thin line between addiction and compulsion and people aren’t ready to admit how much porn they really consume. However, research does suggest that behavioural addictions of porn are on the rise. Either way, anything in excess needs to be in control before it starts controlling us and not the other way around.
Causes Of Porn Addiction
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While obviously no one cause can be pinpointed as the sure-shot reason for porn addiction, there can be many reasons why people can start compulsively watching porn.
- One may enjoy the rush that watching porn gives them and after some time that rush cannot be controlled.
- At that moment you need to view the graphic videos but later you feel guilty. However, during that time you don’t think the viewing habit can become a menace but it does.
- It’s an in-the-moment high that you can’t resist.
- The patterns for porn addiction and internet-related addictions are similar to substance abuse. The process starts off as a coping mechanism but soon takes over your daily functionality.
- Some people try to stop it and they find that they simply cannot do it. That’s exactly how behavioural addictions get a hold of people.
- For women, it may start during periods when you feel low, lonely, bored, anxious, or depressed. And because at the moment it makes the feelings slip away, it becomes easy to latch on to pornography as a way to escape. Similarly for when men are experiencing loneliness, boredom, depression, anxiety, etc.
How To Stop Watching Porn?
There are many ways on how to stop watching pornography on your own and these are things you should try if you have an unhealthy dependency and want to quit porn.
Make yourself accountable
Before you start clearing your hard drives and installing anti-pornography software, approach your friend, spouse or any other member in your family and announce your decision to stop watching porn. If you do not feel like involving your family, you can also join online support communities which will walk you through this effort to abstain from porn.
Dump your pornographic collection
Delete all the electronic porn and bookmarks on all your devices. Yes, this is very helpful especially for people who gravitate towards it because it’s just a click away. Go ahead and discard all the hard copy porn you have. Yes, that means all the CDs and DVDs stashed away need to be thrown out.
Install anti-porn software on all your devices
Have a close one install an anti-pornography software in your computer and mobile devices. Make sure that you have it password protected. Obviously, don’t take the password from him/her, that way you can truly stay away. You can choose from these options, Qustodio, Microsoft Family Safety, Norton Family Online and Covenant Eyes.
Involve yourself in other activities
Create a plan for yourself and try to replace your porn watching activity with other things that you love. Go out for a dance class, stay at home and do yoga and fill your day with hobbies that lift your mood so that you don’t gravitate towards porn as a coping method.
Identify your triggers
Write down all that triggers you- try to think back at your patterns and how the addiction first crept in, write those down as well and try and avoid them at any cost. You can include details like your mood, what you were doing and how you were feeling that day. Keep a note, if it was stress or lack of sleep or catching up with friends who talk about porn or was it just easy access to pornography that is a possible trigger.
Plan to thwart your triggers
Take it like this, when you have an urge to watch porn, focus on how its addiction has negatively affected you. Write it down so that it gives a voice to your thoughts and create a healthy coping mechanism with low moods, sadness, anxiety, boredom etc. Don’t let porn be an option to deal with these problems and dodge all these triggers.
Seek help and find alternatives
Partner up with someone who can keep a tab on your porn watching habit and keep you accountable for the amount of time you spend on it. If not this, you can also keep a journal and track and map your progress. Jot down reminders and alternative activities that may work for you.
Apart from this, you can also try other ways of how to quit porn? From community-driven activities to a more formal structure, these can help you in a more linear way. Try the at-home remedies first and then move on to these ways to know how to stop watching porn if needed.
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Therapy
If you really believe that you have a compulsive urge or an addiction to porn it is worth seeing a medical professional, seek therapy for it. It will, either way, be helpful if you have anxiety, signs of depression or an obsessive-compulsive disorder. Depending on how porn is affecting your life, your therapist will be able to give you a way to deal with your addiction. You can understand better and healthier ways to deal with the underlying causes of your porn addiction.
Support Groups
For some people, therapy doesn’t work and they like a more empathetic process. Support groups are very helpful because patients feel a sense of community and relatability. This way everyone is talking and understanding each other’s struggles.
Medication
Like mentioned earlier, there isn’t enough research being done on porn addiction so medication for that specifically isn’t available. However, your psychiatrist would prescribe a medication for the underlying causes like depression or anxiety to treat the cause and not the effect.
What Will Happen If It’s Left Untreated?
Porn addiction can affect many spheres of your life in the long run as does any addiction:
- Withdrawal from social settings
- Poor relationship quality
- Lower sexual satisfaction
- Lower self-esteem because you’re constantly comparing yourself to unreal expectations
- Feelings of very low moods and downers
Although watching porn is completely a personal choice but when it becomes a behavioural addiction, we are always here to help.
Someone from Team POPxo shares – Why Did I Quit Porn?
“I want to share my experience of how I stopped watching porn. I was in a stable relationship and felt like it’s a good time for me to quit porn. Because when you watch too much porn it starts affecting your reality. So I made a conscious effort to quit watching porn and utilize that time in doing something productive.
Just like any other addiction, quitting porn is hard. But once you stop watching porn you start seeing the positive effects. When your sexual energies are balanced, you feel more focused and motivated in life. Your relationship with your partner improves and then you can have real intimacy in the relationship.
Whenever I felt the urge to watch it, I used to find ways to distract myself. I read books, watched videos and learned about NoFap benefits. I felt a massive difference in my life and my relationship with my friends and my girlfriend improved.”
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