Do you love your husband unconditionally and vow to stand by him always? Check! Can you love your husband who's come back from the dead and doesn't look like your husband at all? Complicated! Would you possibly still be able to love your husband who's come back from the dead twice after having what seems like a few botched up plastic surgeries? Ummm... what? Well, that's the Ekta Kapoor logic for you. Fair warning: If your husband does reincarnate twice in a lifetime, the 'saat vachan' don't hold true. Just friggin' run in the opposite direction from that soulless zombie!
Well, dead husbands have always been Ekta Kapoor's jam, but now she's ventured into to a new territory that has abundant room for imagination: casting age-defying grandmothers, romancing makhhis, naagins and all things supernatural, and redefining immortality. From Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi to Kasautii Zindagii Kayy 2, all the K serials have given us lessons for a happy life. Not only this, these serials have decoded the mantra to have the 'perfect' married life, Ekta Kapoor's guide on how to be saubhagyavati bhava 101.
Here are a few things we've learnt from the K-serial queen by watching her shows and every bahu will appreciate these life-learnings.
Well, you don't have to be worried about your 'suhag' leaving you anytime soon. Chances are that even if he dies due to a plot twist, he will return from all hail and hearty. Just make sure to pray for a more handsome face this time. Remember Mihir Virani? The man had a patent on reincarnation. It's not traditional, we know. But hey, if Jon Snow can do it, why can't Ekta Kapoor?
Mera Pati, Mera Pati! Uska Pati Bhi Mera Pati! Your husband would need constant reminders that he's tethered to you. Don't let him go on a 'business trip' for too long. He'll come back with another wife along with the luggage. Or worse... fall in love with your younger sister, divorce you and get married to her, instead. Then they'd have a daughter and name them after you.
Your sanskari-ness will be determined by the kilos of jewellery you wear and the length of your sari's pallu. Say goodbye to your comfy night-time PJs. You'll have to dress up before you sleep so that if there is an impromptu shaadi to attend in the middle of the night, you waste no time!
A diya should always be lit in your tulsi ka aangan. Not just during navratras, but constantly. Its status will determine your husband's well being. The diya flickers, your husband is in mortal peril. Rush to save him. If it extinguishes, well then... just wait for him to reincarnate. You don't have to worry about investing in the latest iPhone 'coz you'd exactly know how your husband is doing all the time, courtesy diya!
Another pro tip for avoiding trouble in paradise. Don't know who's a friend and who's a foe among your Choti Ma, Badi Ma, Dadi Ma and Sasu Ma? Worry no more. Just look out for their bindi. You can judge how corrupt they are from the length of their bindis. The longer it is, the more careful you'd have to be. Remember Ramola Sikand?
Just hope for a virtuous and cordial mother-in-law because she has a long life, like really long. She will see your kids, then your kids' kids, and then your kids' kids' kids.
Depending on the importance, each member of your new family will have a different theme music assigned to them. And why not! Rishton ke bhi roop badalte hain... remember? Good for you. It'll be easier for you to figure out who's going to intrude your privacy next.
P.S. If you hear 'nikaaa', cry for help and run as fast as you can!
You'll always have to wear sindoor, and its length on your forehead will have to be as long as River Nile. No running away from the shackles of patriarchy!
All said and done, we do get a kick out of all the soap operas we watch. We just hope that they get more progressive and we can put an end to all the makhhis and machchars as main leads.
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