The Indian family dynamic is a confusing one - on the one hand, our parents protect and keep us sheltered for a long while and on the other, they can be a little cut off from the actual reality of what's going on in our lives. While the equation can be tough one to maneuver around, we asked 10 POPxo ladies what their relationship with their parents look like. How much do they tell them? How often do they let them in? How secretive are they? Here's what these ladies had to say.
I am a private person and I love my space. I talk to my mom about a lot of things that are going on with me, but she doesn’t know everything. It’s a need-to-know basis, something that I have learnt from my brother.
I feel very blessed to say that I share most of the things about my life with my parents. It has been a long journey for us together but we’ve finally found a place where we’re comfortable talking about most things. As a child, I was extremely private and independent and no matter how hard they tried, I would just not open up to them. But in the recent past, a few things happened in my life and my parents were my ultimate support system. It made me realise that there is nothing I can’t tell them. The maximum they’ll do is scold me or not talk to me for a few days but that’s much better than the alternative of facing things alone. Also, in all these years I’ve realised that the reason I didn’t tell them things is that I was scared of how they’ll react. Now that I’m grown up, I realise that they weren’t born as parents, they’re having to learn on-the-job. By not holding them to a higher standard of perfection, and recognising them as people who can and will make mistakes, I’m able to tell them everything - from my feelings to even the smallest things that happen in my life. To their credit, they’ve proven to be the best friends I could ever ask for.
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My dad and I have a bittersweet relationship. At times both of us say mean things to each other but the next moment we are all apologetic. There are also days when we have these deep personal conversations about life and everything else. My mom is like that friend with whom I can talk about anything (unless it is about drugs or sex!).
I’ve always been very neutral about what I share and what I don’t share with my parents. They’ve pretty much always known filtered versions of what I’m up to in life. Of course, there are those few things/habits that you never ever disclose to your parents and I’d like to keep it that way.
I feel like I have the privilege of saying that I tell my mother EVERYTHING. From talking about the boys in my life and the sexual escapades I have to the regular I-had-a-bad-day-at-work rants, she’s my one true confidant. My parents were not always this open-minded and I did have a strained relationship with them growing up but finally when I turned 16 they realised that everyone my age was doing something or the other - some kids were indulging in underage drinking, others were taking it a step further with drugs and many were having rampant, unprotected sex. They knew that I would indulge in some of these things at some point in time, they might as well be on board with it and advise me to take sensible decisions rather than turn a blind eye to it. Even though I don’t talk to my father in as much detail, he, too, knows close to everything about my life. He’s the one I call in situations when I need a calming voice telling me what to do or when I need someone to take care of a mistake I’ve made. I’m extremely grateful and lucky that my mum and dad are so open to discussion, it makes the atmosphere at home a much happier one.
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I share a close bond with my parents. Both mom and dad, are like my best friends and I’m blessed to have them in my life. Our conversations usually revolve around any topic under the sun - philosophy, politics, cooking recipes, relationship problems, work life, travel - yes, you name it, we’ve discussed it at some point (over a drink!). They trust me and support most of my decisions and in return, I’m given the freedom to explore any opportunity that life throws at me. I truly am a lucky girl.
I’m extremely close to my parents and they know almost everything that’s going on in my life - the keyword being almost. While I love my parents, I do like to maintain certain boundaries when it comes to my personal life. I tend to avoid telling them about trivial things that I know they won’t agree with, or things that might make them extremely anxious. Besides that, my parents have always supported all my personal and professional decisions, and encourage me to reach for the stars!
Growing up, I never really shared much with my parents. My dad has always been very accepting and accommodating while mom was the non-negotiable types. Excluding information was the only way I managed to sail through my teenage years. For the last couple of years, I’ve maintained a very transparent relationship with them and I have no regrets. We are much closer now than we’ve ever been! We discuss absolutely anything without setting off any alarms. My mother and I don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things, but being transparent is my way of getting her to make her peace with things and open up to a different perspective. Something I should have probably done years ago!
How much do you guys share with your folks, let us know in the comments section below.
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