I bet you all have heard about Sooryavansham. Yes, I am talking about the film that has an inseparable bond with Set Max. The only two things that air on this TV channel are IPL and Sooryavansham. While the film was a critical and commercial failure, it became a massive hit when it aired on television a few months later. So much so that Set Max has dedicated time slots to this Amitabh Bachchan film for almost about 18 years now.
For those who still haven't watched the film despite the aggressive selling, let me take you through it. The film is a family drama where the father (played by Amitabh Bachchan), who is a renowned and respected man in the village, has three sons. While two of his sons manage to successfully complete their education and get respectable jobs, the youngest son - the one that is also played by Amitabh Bachchan - is a failure in life. Disappointed by him, Senior Amitabh disowns him and treats him like a servant. The story revolves around how this good for nothing son makes his father proud at the end. Want to know more? Here are some thoughts I had while watching the movie. Read on!
1. Dramatic entry of Amitabh Bachchan (Thakur Bhanu Pratap Singh).
2. Villagers are so excited to see him address them. Well, they know he's going to give them something more than just a speech.
3. Sonu Nigam’s singing the title track in the background. Someone explain Sooryavansham to me?
4. Amitabh Bachchan is giving away clothes to the villagers. That's how our politicians do it.
5. Wait! WHAT? There’s another Amitabh Bachchan? One is old and the other one is young.
6. One is a renowned rich man and the other one is his son (Hira) who is being treated as the servant. Double role because one Amitabh Bachchan is not enough to convince you why the film is so boring.
7. Enter the villain, Deshraj Thakur. Does he have to look that creepy?
8. And he’s already proved why he’ll be killed at the end of the film. He’s harassing the maid’s daughter.
9. And she’s been put in the jail by one of the police officers who is the villain’s pet.
10. Every time Bhanu Pratap walks in, there’s dramatic music playing. And there's some of Ekta Kapoor's signature 'dhish dhish dhish.'
11. Bhanu Pratap is teaching the law to the police inspector. Also, more dramatic music playing in the background. And more 'dhish dhish dhish.'
12. The girl has been released. Her role is over after establishing who's the karta-dharta here.
13. Time to punish the sinner. He’s been arrested but what did Bhanu Pratap say? There’s no volume.
14. The villain has been released already. Did he even go to jail? And he’s shooting paintings of his ancestors in angst. WHAT?
15. Why is he always so loud and yelling, Marjaaneya?
16. He’s crying for respect. Does he even deserve it?
17. Enter Hira’s best friend Anupam Kher. My favourite character already.
18. Enter the heroine. She’s rich, rude and impatient.
19. Anupam Kher is hysterical. What comic timing! He’s sent her the wrong way. Lol!
20. And as expected, the girl and her family have shown up at the same house where Hira lives/works. Can this get more obvious?
21. In order to get back at Hira, the heroine wants him to get her ironed clothes ironed again. How petty!
22. Guests point guns at the servants. That’s so random. Like other random things weren't enough.
23. Kader Khan and Anupam Kher’s banter is interesting. The only part making this movie bearable.
24. ACP Pradyuman is also there in the movie. He’s the heroine’s dad.
25. Hira is a great singer. Kids stop crying when they hear Hira sing. Talented boy!
26. Background story time. Hira’s father treats him like a servant because he was weak at studies and denied to marry Gauri - the girl his father chose for her. But the truth is, Gauri denied the proposal because she was well read and he was not educated. Sacrifice and all!
27. The heroine is acting too sweet to Hira. Guess she’s in love.
28. Gauri is always insulting Hira. Don't get it. Didn't he do what you wanted, woman?
29. Heroine takes a dig at Gauri! Woohoo! Finally, the women have some good dialogues.
30. The heroine’s name hasn’t been revealed yet. Strange.
31. The heroine just proposed to Hira. Hira has chickened out!
32. And after she’s sung a song for him, he’s said yes! Because songs are more convincing.
33. Marriage preps look like a fair! Hira isn't dressed like it's his own wedding. He looks like a background dancer.
34. Villain Deshraj Thakur has given his Pajero as a gift to Bhanu Pratap’s son-in-law. Some game plan obviously. Will the villain do anything at all?
35. And the heroine’s name is Radha. Finally, they’ve addressed her in the film by her name.
36. Radha’s mother has fixed her marriage with the villain’s brother. Because you need some plot to piss off the hero.
37. Bhanu Pratap has asked Hira to choose between Radha or acceptance from his father as a son. How's that an option? Everyone deserves both.
38. Radha is getting married to the villain’s brother. Where’s Hira?
39. Heroic flying entry of Hira because arriving normally at the venue is too mainstream.
40. Hira fights all the villains alone because...Bollywood.
41. Hira and Radha are getting married in a temple. Such a cliche.
42. Bhanu Pratap has picked up a gun. Will he kill Hira?
43. Radha saves the day with a heavy dialogue. Girl power!
44. Bhanu Pratap is killing it with epic dialogues. I’m hooting.
45. And he has disowned the son he never accepted anyway.
46. Mothers don’t have a say because...patriarchy.
47. Anupam Kher is the best friend ever. He’s given Hira his house to live in.
48. Radha doesn’t want to have sex until things are better in their lives and the creepy parrot agrees with her. This just reminded me of Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon.
49. But fate has other plans and so does the script. Sex will be depicted by dancing to a song. Perfect!
50. Hira has got a job. But he’s not telling Radha that it’s a clerical job. Because...ego!
51. Radha’s dad (ACP Pradyuman) has come to pay Hira and Radha a visit. He’s a good dad.
52. Hira is such a loving husband. I like him. A rare breed.
53. Looks like Radha’s mother is also missing Radha now. She's so irritating though.
54. Clash of Radha and Gauri. Gauri takes a dig at Radha. Slap her already, Radha!
55. Hira wants Radha to complete her studies and become a collector. That's so supportive.
56. Hira has bought a bus and now is the time for acchhe din in their lives.
57. The bus conductor is a lady wearing a pair of shorts! Why do movies always objectify women like this?
58. Hira doesn’t like earning money like this. And he’ll do it his way now. Thank God!
59. Radha is pregnant. She’ll deliver the baby by the time this song ends.
60. Radha has become the collector. Such a prominent role for a woman in a Bollywood film? I’m jumping with glee.
61. Bhanu Pratap pays a visit to collector Radha. Face off time! And 'dhish dhish dhish.'
62. Flashback: Bhanu Pratap remembers how he insulted Radha and Hira. Loud music. Very annoying.
63. Drop paperweight and slyly touch Babuji’s feet. Well played, Radha!
64. But Bhanu Pratap couldn’t care less. He walks away.
65. Enters the villain. I was wondering where he had disappeared. He's barely got any role thanks to two Amitabh Bachchans.
66. Gauri wants her husband to work in Hira’s factory. Tables have turned. Finally.
67. Radha is mercilessly taunting Gauri and asking her to not take offence. I still like Radha.
68. Bhanu meets his grandson. Time for realisation. And obviously, he has the same name as his grandfather. Emotional plug.
69. Why is this kid chilling with a stranger? He doesn’t know that this is his grandfather because he’s never seen him. This is so weird.
70. Bhanu Pratap is back home and he can’t stop thinking about his grandkid. But again, male ego!
71. Bhanu Pratap is chilling with his grandkid and the villain has spotted him. I hope nothing goes wrong.
72. Bhanu Pratap has given laddoos to grandkid for Hira and family. Considerate of him!
73. Radha wants Bhanu Pratap to inaugurate the hospital made in his name by Hira. Hira has proved why his name is Hira.
74. Everyone is slyly going to Hira’s hospital inauguration ceremony. And Bhanu Pratap is planning to do the same. Some firing by the villain maybe? Or kidnap the kid? SOMETHING please?
75. Time for emotional speech. I am done!
76. Mother has finally got some dialogues. She’s taunting Bhanu Pratap. Everyone looks plastic.
77. The kid just called Bhanu Pratap 'Dadaji' because he felt like it. When will they tell him the truth? The movie is almost over.
78. Bhanu Pratap got off the car to help someone on the road. Generous man. But this looks like a plot.
79. The villain has put some poison in the kheer. I knew it. If he didn't do anything this time, I'd go slap him.
80. Bhanu Pratap is having kheer. Oh no! Don’t! Or maybe, do.
81. Bhanu Pratap and wife are fighting. Wife has some great comebacks. She’s giving Bhanu Pratap a reality check.
82. Bhanu Pratap has called up Hira. This is an iconic moment. But the poison will react now, obviously.
83. Bhanu Pratap just spat a lot of blood. This would be so disturbing in 3D.
84. The villain has come to offer fake sympathy. And he’s turned everyone against Hira saying that Hira gave the poisonous kheer. DO SOMETHING!
85. Villagers are brutally hitting Hira. I don’t want to see this happening.
86. The villain has come with a sword to kill Hira. Too dramatic. Sticks would have been just fine.
87. And guess who has come to Hira’s rescue? Bhanu Pratap! Straight from his deathbed. How's that even possible. Logic level=Bollywood.
88. Father and son with kill the villain and his pets. Say what?
89. Fight! Fight! Fight! Blood, more blood.
90. Family reunion song time. And it’s a happy ending! No one dies. What a waste!
Want more of my thoughts? Read my review of Shahid Kapoor and Amrita Rao's equally boring Vivah.
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