It may be 2018 but the typical Indian marriage still has its roots stuck in the 1950s or maybe even before that. When you think of the traditional wedding ceremony, you imagine a coy bride hidden behind a ghunghat walking towards her man who is essentially going to be her ‘protector’ from now on. The kanya is given in daan by her father to the groom, for God’s sake.
In a marriage too, how much ever we say that the modern couple is all about equality, how many times have we actually met a house husband? That’s right ladies, unfortunately for us, patriarchy still holds our society in its clutches but all we can do is try to fight for our place one step at a time. So when you’re looking for your “dulhe raja” (why the hell is he called that, BTW) make sure he agrees with these 7 things to ensure that you’re starting the rest of your life on the same footing.
And yes, pressurizing the girl’s family to give a car as a ‘gift’ is still asking for dowry. She isn’t a commodity that she can be equated with money or material goods, she’s enough all on her own.
It’s such an archaic concept that only the girl’s family should be bearing the expenses for the wedding, but unfortunately, it is still a very real thing. Dividing the cost between the bride and groom is the only logical thing to do. After all, “shaadi dono families ke status ke hisaab se honi chahiye, toh shaadi ka kharcha kyun na adha adha.”
Girls have a past too. This obsession of wanting a virgin bride is playing into the stereotypes that women are supposed to be virgins otherwise they’re considered ‘street whores’ is nauseating TBH. Should her hymen really be a deciding factor when it comes to marriage?
It’s high freaking time we really look at fluidity in gender roles. Women and men can do and become whoever they want to. Parenting, finances, household chores, income are all tasks that both husbands and wives can share and build a bond starting from the same footing.
Indian men for some reason like to find replacements of their mothers in wives. Ladies repeat after me, we aren’t responsible for badly raised men. Wives are partners and giving them the respect in that sphere is crucial.
Your to-be-man needs to be as loving and devoted to your family as he expects you to be to his. This is a relationship that you’re building hand in hand, it’s unfair to expect you to drop everything at the whim of your in-laws but he isn’t ready to make the same commitment.
Lastly, men really need to start standing up for feminism. Yup, I know I’ve caused a stir but #HeForShe is real. The F-word isn’t a cuss word, it’s simple- both genders should be treated as equal. It’s as basic as it gets and your future husband needs to understand this.
GIFs: Giphy, Tumblr
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