Sexting, in a layman language, means sending, receiving or forwarding explicit messages to someone and getting them in return. They are usually done on an electronic device like a mobile phone or the computer/laptop. And now that we have actually gotten into the technicalities, let's talk about how amazing it is to be able to send random sexual messages to someone and feel it even when the person is not around. Now, let's get a little bit into the technicality of it a little bit to see where is this really coming from, shall we?
Did you know that the first ever mention of the word 'Sexting' was in an Australian daily way back in 2005? It was the first time that someone actually broke down the real meaning of the term sexting in three different forms. It originally started with the advent of smartphones and with time (and more internet plans) it started growing really popular. Even today, it is known to be one of the most popular forms of exchanging naughty conversations between two people who are attracted to each other. It is most common among adolescents who have just started exploring their sexuality. However, adults also don't shy away from it a lot.
Sexting is known to make couples really really comfortable with each other. It also strengthens the bond between two people especially when they are living away from each other. Sexting also ensures you speak your mind out with the truth about sexual fantasies with another person. It also makes sure that it effectively strengthens your sex life and a lot of couples opt for this when they see their sex life going down a little. So, basically, if you open about your sex life and fantasies, you are more open to speaking your mind otherwise too. Well, because, you're that comfortable.
Couples, however, have sometimes made their own rules about sexting and have found it equally effective in strengthing their ties.
Sexting is not just for couples who are in a relationship. Even if there are two people who have colloquially agreed on being with each other, physically, they resort to sexting to know each other's preferences in bed. Which is only fair as they get to do what they are actually together for - please each other in the bedroom. It's always good to have someone know what you really want in bed and be able to deliver what THEY really want no matter what the status of your relationship is.
So, it's safe to say that sexting is something that couples decide to choose whether they like it or not but is not subjected to a particular type or the kind of relationship that two people have. In the longer run, it actually comes with it's perks and fun if two people mutually decide to be in it. A forced form of sexting, however, in any kind of relationship is calling for trouble. Well, we will get to that later.
Like we said, sexting if done with full consent by mature adults in any kind of relationship is okay. Two people, whether in a relationship or not with each other can indulge in healthy sexting if they feel like. Well, assuming these two people are adults and know what they are actually doing, there is nothing really wrong with it. Know the risks involved and know what you're getting into along with a few precautions and you're honestly doing good. So, looking for your ultimate sexting guide? We're here to help you with some tips tricks and a few hacks!
We love you and we want to make sure you're doing it right. So, whether you have been in a relationship for a long long time, or have just started fresh, or you are simply flinging around with someone you like, here are a few tips and tricks that will totally come in handy when you're sexting someone.
Why it works?
1. It is actually an easy way to make your partner's fantasies come alive. It makes them open up to you in many ways.
2. It's a great way to give or receive compliments from your partner. Imagine being told that they love your curves or lips? Good feeling, isn't it?
3. It is also a subtle way of saying that you are up to heat things up between the sheets. If you are the shy kinds, this will be your best way to actually tell your partner that you want something in bed.
4. All the teasing will make you scream and beg for more. It will also make you anticipate the next move in the bedroom. Imagine thinking about it?
5. It can happen anywhere. You don't have to pick a place or a moment. You just have to feel it. That is the beauty of it.
6. It also lets your partner know that they are wanted. Imagine reaching out to them and telling them that you want all of them. Might make their dull day super bright.
7. It makes sure that you have a smooth communication with your partner no matter what you want to say. Being able to say it in texts means being able to say it in person too.
How to do it right?
1. The first thing to do is set the mood right. This involves text messages like "You know what I feel like doing to you" or "You know what we should do in bed". Just say the right thing so that your partner knows that you are in the right mood to start a naughty conversation.
2. Compliment your partner after they know you are in the right mood. It is very important for them to know that you like them and want them, especially at that moment. Tell them that you like a particular thing that they do. Things like "Baby you make me feel so hot when you do ---" will do the drill for you.
3. Don't rush things but take things as they come. Wait for the right time and be gradual in your approach.
4. If you like something, ask for it. Maybe your partner is looking for something like that from you. Take the lead when required and let them know what you like. You can also say things like "Do this to me" in order to talk about your fantasies in a more assertive way.
5. Always, always and always make sure you don't mix conversations up. This might sound like the most obvious advice ever but honestly make sure you send your message to the right person. You don't want your colleague to respond with "ahan, what?" when you send the wrong message.
6. It's always good to initiate if you're more in the mood. Taking the lead sometimes can actually lead to great conversations, honestly.
7. No matter what you say or do, make sure you are super duper confident in your approach. This will not only help you have a conversation without a filter but will also help your partner be confident. It helps to decrease the consciousness that is usually common during sexting.
8. It is very important to set the scene before you start the scene. If you're picking a time right after shower then make sure you let them know. The whole point is to have yourself prepared to be in the moment to actually make things hotter.
9. It's really important to not hold back any thought while you're sexting with your partner. Let your imaginations run wild and let them know every bit of it. Communication is the key and not holding back is the thing that is going to hold your conversation together.
10. Use your emojis right. Emojis play a very important role when you're sexting because sometimes you want to tell something without having to actually say it. Emojis come in handy at this time and trust us, they do wonders.
11. When you're sexting, make sure that you give your partner a heads up before actually doing it. Especially when you're sending a picture to your partner. You don't want them to open it at the wrong time and definitely not in front of a wrong person.
12. Once you're in the mood and at it, make sure you still have every bit of reality in place. Even though we encouraged you to run your imaginations wild, you still need to have a bit of reality floating around.
13. Try and be spontaneous and don't make a delay when you're at it. No one wants to wait for hours waitig for the naughty text. Be available and do not even thik of ghosting when you're in the process.
We feel you and sometimes just like you, we need some inspiration too. So, we picked and made up a few sexting examples that will come in handy next time you want to get down and dirty, virtually!
1. "I had a naughty dream last night. YOU were in it and I really want to tell you what it was"
2. "You know what I feel like doing right now? YOU"
3. "Just took a hot shower. You know what would be hotter? YOU with me in it"
4. "I really like how you kiss me on my neck, it turns me on like nothing else"
5. "I am thinkng of you. Naked."
6. "You know what's yummy? Chocolate sauce on you."
7. "If I let you do anything to me, what would you do. RIGHT NOW?"
8. "I have come to work without my panties today. God! I wish I was working with you"
9. "Just had my food. I could totally use you for dessert. With a topping of whipped cream"
10. "I can actually imagine my tongue on you. Going places on your body will be the best thing right now"
11. "I am thinking of you right now and I am naked. You think you can do something about it?"
12. "Go to the bathroom and send a picture of you without your pants. I could use some of you today"
13. "Touching myself and thinking of you right now"
14. "I love to touch your butt when you're in me but since you're not right now, can I just get a picture for now?"
15. "I love those pants on you. Wish I could take it off RN!"
16. "I am wearing your favourite bra today. Think you can take it off?"
17. "I am putting on my black thong while writing this message to you"
18. "The last time you made me moan like that, I think I want to do it again today"
19. "I was wondering what is your favourite sexual fantasy? Tell me and we will do it"
20. "What is your favourite body part? I am going to do wonders with it today"
Did anyone of these come in handy? Well, now that you have a clear knowledge of what you should say when you're sexting, we have also made a list of things that you should definitely not say. Give this a read because it is as important as knowing what to say.
1. Never start sexting with someone before having sex
You are just going to ruin the mood and get the other person really excited before the real deal. Sexting is mostly for situations when you want to get down and dirty but you can't. So, the whole purpose is defeated when you sext right before having sex.
2. Know the other person's privacy
If you're in the mood to sext does not mean the other person is. Sexting is best when it comes with mutual consent. So, make sure your partner is not in a situation before you send a sext. Give a little warning or hint before you send a naked picture especially.
3. Don't sext with someone you don't trust
Sexting is not always between two people who love each other, it can be between two consenting adults who choose to have some fun. However, it still does involve some trust and connection between two people. So, if you don't trust someone, don't even initiate the conversation with them.
4. Don't send a long message at once
So, here is the thing - nobody wants to read an essay. People wish to be quick and get off reading simple sentences. Don't make it a lengthy conversation and try to keep it as simple and as sweet as you can.
5. Turn your notifications off
Nobody wants to read your dirty messages. Make sure you turn off your notifications before you start sexting. It not only protects your privacy but will also save you from a lot of embarrassment.
6. Don't use too many filters
You want to keep your sexting game natural. Adding on too many filters will only ruin being in the moment. It's an absolute no no to send a picture to someone which has no 'you' element. Keep it simple and natural.
7. Remember to delete evidence
Know that sometimes, people have access to your phone and they definitely don't want to see things that very personal to you and your partner. Not just that, what if your mother has your phone in her hand someday? NO!
Sometimes, a few words do the drill for you and we want to make sure that you have the right set of words. Words like want, need, you, me are most commonly used by most couples when they are naughty texting each other. Lick, kiss and 'do this to me' are also one of the most commonly used phrases that make it really easy to frame your sentences right when you're sexting someone.
It has been seen that couples reap a lot of benefits out of sexting. Since it really helps couples in strengthing their ties and it's a given. Since people open up a lot about their personal life and fantasies over text messages, they end up feeling a lot closer to each other. Sometimes, you can't say things to your significant other in person but can take a little plunge and say it over texts. It makes you feel more close to the person and also helps you be more comfortable.
Not just that but it has also reportedly helped couples strengthen their long lost ties. Sex has the power to actually make two people come close to each other if at all they have been feeling distant which is why sexting is that one step to making things comfortable and sexy between two people.
Not just sexually, sexting helps couples in growing closer to each other emotionally too. This is one of the most important aspects of sexting. You end up telling each other some really personal and intimate thoughts and obviously trust each other with things. This, in turn, helps you bond with them emotionally too.
If you are a parent, there are a lot of things you should know about your child and that is a given. While parents with young kids, you need to know what and when is the right time to give your child the privilege of having a smartphone. Children, when they hit puberty are most likely to be experimental about their sexual side which is why sometimes, they need to be talked to.
As a parent, you can always be a friend to them at this age because no matter how hard you try, you will not be able to keep a watch on them every minute. You need to trust them and at the same time educate enough to know what is right and what is wrong.
Adolescents are more likely to fall under this sexting part because this is the time when they are trying to explore their bodies. They learn about their sexuality and want to explore it as much as they can. For some children, sexting is a way of exploring their own sexuality or indulge with someone who they like. This is one matter that needs to be dealt with utmost sensitivity which is why here are a few tips that will come in handy for you if you're with a child that has most likely started to sexually mature.
1. Know that it's okay
It's okay for your child to grow up and be sexually more curious about their sexual life and so if they are told what they should or should not do, they will actually take care of it. You were as curious as they were but unfortunately did not have access to all things 'smart' so didn't see this side coming.
2. Discuss things with them
Children need to be told that it's okay to go through a certain phase in your life. However, being careful and knowing who to trust is very very important. You need to talk to them and get their confidence so that they discuss things with you. It is important for you to be open to discussions with your kids so that they are comfortable with you to talk about what they are feeling.
3. Tell them that they are okay
Kids at this age may feel pressured with every little change that is happening to them and they need to be told their worth so that they don't have any sort of self-doubt. You need to tell them constantly that they are worth a lot more in life because there are so many changes that they're going through that as a parent you should adapt to too.
If your partner is into sexting, you will see a few subtle hints that they will leave. This will include things like him telling you kinky things in the middle of the day or whenever you guys get together. He will constantly be hooked on to sending you sexy pictures he sees or some naughty jokes that he has seen on the internet. You know he is willing to take the conversation forward when he does that often. There is nothing wrong with wanting to sext with your partner and if he does these things, know that he likes it and wants to do it more often.
With the emojis the center of all conversations these days, the sexting game has gone up a notch and we love it. The cheeky ones were discovered and the normal emojis have had a new double meaning since a really long time. Here is a little tutorial on the best sex emojis and their meanings to up your sexting game.
1. The winking emoji
This is by far the most basic sexting emoji that is there. It's for a fun and flirty conversation and mostly to acknowledge what your partner says. Wink with them in agreement and let them know you're up for more.
2. The eggplant emoji
This emoji means penis in the sexting world so if you want to reply by complimenting a man on his penis or tell him that you want one, this emoji will definitely come in handy!
3. The peach emoji
Peach means butt. So, you can use this emoji to compliment someone's butt or even better, to sext about anal. See how your conversation goes to use this.
4. The tongue emoji
Tongue means you're wanting to experiment with your tongue and your partner. It may also means that you want to lick your partner all over or the fact that you're anticipating a french kiss. You can use this emoji however you like.
5. The flame emoji
Sex is on fire? Well, if you are looking to have a hit flaming experience with your partner then this is the best emoji for you. This can be used to indicate that you want them hot or you want them to be hot with you the next tie you're at it.
6. The water drops emoji
This emoji simply means an orgasm. So, you can use it to tell the other person that you are climaxing or you want to climax while having a hot sex chat with him. This is sometimes also referred to as the sweaty sex that you are anticipating with your partner.
Sexting is sometimes known as a warm-up before the real move. So, a lot of couples consider this a foreplay before their real session. However, for couples who are far away, they have to make this it their one and only alternate for sex. Receiving a sex text in the middle of the day can really be fabulous for your sex life, honestly, so it can be an alternate for a great foreplay only when the two of you are not together. While versions of a foreplay are different for every couple, sexting is actually considered one of the key features to do wonders to one's sex life.
Being in a long distance relationship can get a little lonely sometimes. Yes! It's sad but it's actually true. Sometimes, you just need the person right next to you for comfort or for some intimacy and you can't really have that when you are in a long distance. So, sexting can actually be a thing for all the long-distance couples. A kinky text or picture can actually remind your partner what they're missing out on and help you build that bond that needs to exist because you are physically away from each other.
A lot of people feel that texting is a process in which two people have to indulge in something to keep a spark alive. It's definitely not the case. Sexting is something that needs to be consensual between two people and if one of them is not comfortable then there is no reason why they should do it. Sexting is one of the things that keeps the spark alive in a relationship but not the only one. You can always have a conversation with your partner and tell them how you feel about it. The two of you can have a conversation about it and find something else that will add an element of excitement to your relationship.
We asked POPxo man the thoughts he has about sexting so that you could use a man's point of view.
He said - "Sexting is fun because we are always looking for new ways to spice things up. We love different. However, we would appreciate if our partner likes it as much as we do. So, when we receive a flirty text in the middle of the day when you're having one of the most mundane routines, you look forward to the day. This dirty little secret is our way of breaking out of the daily monotony in a sexy way."
In the end, sexting is that one rule that every couple makes differently. Some like it, some don't and some really really like it. So, if the two of you like it and know the right way to do it, then go ahead. If you feel forced under any form of pressure then talk to your partner. One should never have to do anything that they are not comfortable doing. Until then, happy sexting!
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