Sex can be a really sensitive topic. Believe it or not, it is extremely easy to tie your self-worth and attractiveness to how desirable your partner finds you. The more they openly desire you, the sexier you feel. Sadly, this works the other way too. So what do you do if your partner does not want to have sex? With you or otherwise? How do you deal with this? And how do you stop yourself from adding any negative connotations to this situation?
Just like any other relationship problem, this is something that needs to be worked through. So, here are some reasons why this is not about you, but about them!
Everyone deals with stress and grief differently. Sometimes, you are so overwhelmed and overcome with emotions that sex takes a backseat. If this is the case, then you need to bring some lifestyle changes or talk to a counsellor. Give them time and space, but take expert opinion if it goes on for long.
if the testosterone levels are too low, the person ends up having a really low sex drive. If low sex drive becomes a persistent issue, you might want to get it checked!
At different points in times, people have different stressors. When I say relationship issues, I mean ones other than the romantic ones. If there is a lot going on in their personal or family life, it could be an issue.
Just like you're insecure about your body, they could be insecure about theirs. And if neither of you is initiating sex, things could get progressively worse.
Now that we know the reasons, here are a few ways you can work through this problem!
Like every other problem, this can be dealt with if you just talk to each other. In a very non-judgemental way, ask them what is it that is stopping them from being intimate with you. Keep the floor open for discussion and don't take what they say too personally. They could be dealing with stuff too and you need to get to the bottom of it!
One of the things holding them back could be their insecurity. Don't hesitate to initiate sex a few times - somebody has to make the first move after all. However, if they rebuff all your advances, that's when you should seriously give the situation a thought.
You're partners and you're in this together for the long run. You'll help each other through ups and downs and this just happens to be one of them. So if they are willing to work on themselves, take a chance on them!
Rome wasn't built in a day and his issues won't be solved in a matter of hours. Be patient with him as he's trying to be better for the sake of the relationship. Rushing him will only make the situation worse.
You can't help someone who doesn't accept that they need help. You may have to consider ending the relationship if our partner is not ready to accept, or for that matter, even address the problem and feel that they don't want to do anything about it. It isn't selfish to think of your happiness.
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