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To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before… Here Are The Mistakes You Made In Bed

To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before… Here Are The Mistakes You Made In Bed

We’re all madly and completely crushing over the movie To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before, especially Peter Kavinsky. Have you seen how involved and respectful he was? And just how sexy that made him? Also, that one scene where he pulls Lara Jean in his lap in the hot tub just tugged at my heart (and underwear) strings. It’s a pleasure to see men who’re sexy and totally understand your value. Basically, men who are decent human beings, LOL!

Thinking about PK got me wondering about all the things my exes have done that Peter would NEVER do, especially in bed. So, to all the boys I’ve ever loved, here are all the mistakes you made during sex that did not make me feel as good as Lara Jean Covey felt in Peter Kavinsky’s arms!

1. Wham, Bam, Thank You, Ma’am!

Why did you ever think that sex only meant ‘banging’ me? There is a lot of foreplay involved, my friend. Exploring each other’s bodies with your hands and/or mouth is the best part about sex. And it really gets me going. So why didn’t you do it even after I repeatedly asked you to? That may be a reason why you’re not getting my sweet-lovin’ anymore!

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2. Being Silent

Who said moaning during sex is feminine? Why can’t you just moan a little and let me know if what I’m doing is working or not? 

3. Forgetting My Big O

Your orgasm does not, in any way, mean I’m done too. I’m not done yet, I’ve been left hanging and pretty unsatisfied. Also, I know I give you constructive criticism so instead of making it about your ego, up your game.

4. Lack Of Proper Hygiene 

You expect my downstairs area to be always groomed. But what’s up with a clear lack of grooming on your part? Why is it so hard to pick up a trimmer and take a go at it? 

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5. No Oral Sex

If I had a penny for every time a particular ex-boyfriend of mine told me that going down on a woman was disgusting, I’d have, well, one penny because I was done with him after that! Any man who feels entitled to a blowjob but doesn’t go down on you needs to go.

6. Fingering TOO Much

Babe, listen up! It’s called fingering, not drilling. If you do it too vigorously or hard, my vagina and clitoris just give up and it actually becomes painful. 

7. Thinking You Know Everything I Want

Why do you think you know everything I want? If my love Peter did not assume anything about Lara, then why do you think you can ignore my instructions? Tch-tch!

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29 Aug 2018

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