A couple of days ago, there was a desperate post by a mom who was requesting for ideas to make her son wear his slippers. Her post read and I quote, “Does anyone know how one can get kids to wear their slippers and not roam around bare feet? I have tried logic, fear, request... nothing works... it just doesn't get registered with him.” To this, a couple of people replied suggesting the use of some 'desi' discipline, our very own chappal. Well, the post got me thinking if it was indeed the way to go and if spanking children was really right. Here’s what a couple of parents had to say.
"I have seen my daughter, a psychologist, using her eyes to discipline her kids. Her daughters, when that get that look, immediately know that their mom is angry or happy and they behave accordingly."
- Saroj Sawhney, ex-teacher and grandmother
"Chappals, no way; however, scolding yes. But even that should be avoided as I have noticed that kids start resenting this kind of behaviour and after a while, even these so-called solutions don’t work. The right kind of motivation works like it does in all species, you just need to tap the right trigger point."
- Pradeep Nair, father to four-year-old
"I know in India people don't usually give a 'time out,' but it really works. Kids do not want to be facing the wall. If they misbehave, give them a few minutes of time out and they will change their behaviour. Count one, two, three as a threat and they'll learn that if they don’t change by three, there will be trouble."
- Dr Nitin Bawa, father to a 10-year-old and a four-year-old
"I have a blackboard, on which I have a reward system. I give them a ‘well done’ or a ‘great effort’ stickers. If you appreciate them, don’t just do it by calling them a 'good boy' or a 'good girl', instead appreciate them specifically for the action they did."
- Miruna Ahmed, mother to a five-year-old and a three-year-old
"I firmly believe in the concept of positive reinforcement for positive behaviour and negative consequences for negative like not going to the park, no gadgets, reduced tv time etc. Any privilege should be taken away with clear words and eye contact and given a timeline too as to when they are getting it back. However, don’t make it too long or short like limit tv time to only 10 minutes, if s/he watches it for 20."
-Rhea Neha Hiranandani, mother to a nine-year-old
"Kids today are way too smart and need a logical reason behind every action. My daughter questions me even if I scold her, so parents need to be careful when scolding their kids. Make them understand the good and bad side of everything they do and scolding at that very moment may land you up in an unwanted argument. Just tell them that they should not be doing it as its wrong and then later when you are both calmer, make them understand why you said so. Giving them logical reason will leave a positive impact and they will be in a better position to understand you. Communication is the key and refrain from beating them up because you never know what impact would it leave on their mind and they might end up just not sharing anything with you."
-Swati Kapoor, mother to four-year-old twins
"Frankly, a lot depends on a child's inherent character. They are all quite a handful in their very little mischievous ways. Sid (my son) has always been a sensitive child. Having said that, he has his days when he throws tantrums or misbehaves. I always made it a point to give him small rewards such as chocolates instead of promising him to buy expensive toys. I've purposely made it a big deal to visit places like McDonald's and Pizza Hut, so that he values my effort. Since he was two, I have made it a point to read him moral stories. Of course, there have been days I've spanked him too but in a mild form."
-Geetanjali Rathore, mother to a seven-year-old
"A count to three has always helped me discipline my girl or let her know she is heading in the wrong direction. Needless to say, raising your voice to sound stern and to let them know that it isn't working has been a saviour at times. With age, talking it out and setting the right expectations works and needs constant reinforcement. All in all, as a parent, I will admit that I get it wrong in the way I have disciplined my girl at times (and feel terrible about it). Admitting to them that you have made a mistake and apologising has helped me considerably. And then talking to them and letting them know that it is for their benefit and that we have all learnt from mistakes. It has worked for me."
-Namrata Joseph, mother to a nine-year-old
AWESOME NEWS! POPxo SHOP is now Open! Click here to check out the super fun mugs, phone covers, cushions, laptop sleeves, and more! Also, there's a special launch offer: Flat 30% off to say thank you for being an early customer. Use code POPXO30 (Offer is valid only till July 30th).