Let me start this article by saying that pre-wedding jitters are absolutely normal. Getting cold feet and just being scared of taking this giant leap can be scary. We're all terrified of change and have different mechanisms to cope with it. However, if you think these aren't just jitters but you're actually thinking of backing out, then let me help you think of where to go from here.
I won't delve into the reasons why you wanted to take this step because it would be different for everyone. But if you're sure you want to call off the wedding, don't fret we've got your back.
We women have been blessed with this wonderful thing called instinct and it's freaking accurate. So if you think that you're way too anxious about taking those pheras with the one then it's probably not it. Remember, a certain degree of nervousness is agreeable, however, there's a difference between the excitement of a new life and full-blown panic.
Red flags for most people can be different. Some women may not like the authoritative tone that her partner uses while others may think he's stingy when it comes to finances. Whatever these issues are, note them down and think about it from a rational perspective. "Are these make it or break it factors for me?", you'll get your answer.
Listening to your family and friends is important and hearing different perspectives too. However, you know best. Nobody else knows the relationship you share with your partner better than you or him. So if that aunty is saying, "Aise kaise shaadi todni hai?" Just ignore it and think for yourself.
There's no doubt that a desi shaadi is an expensive affair. Most vendors ask for advance and booking charges which you may have already paid. However, just because you've spent money doesn't mean you HAVE to get married. As difficult as it may be now, it's not worth staying unhappy forever.
Indian weddings are not between the couple but are actually a union of two families. Meet them all and discuss the problems you have with the marriage openly. He and his family may have their own side to the story that you may not have known. If you've been dating and he says that you've been together for so long, why now? Just bear in mind, if you've been with someone for a while doesn't mean you have to stay with them always.
If the cards have been sent out, you'll need each member or your family and your closest friends to help out. Ask them all to tell their respective friends that the wedding has been called off. If it hasn't reached that far then you can just let your immediate circle know and the rest will find out in time.
If you're not a hundred percent sure about the guy or just marriage in general, delay the ceremony. You deserve that fairytale moment and that princess feeling, so do it when you're absolutely ready.
The thing with seeking professional help is that it gives you a clearer picture of the whole situation. You will understand why you did what you did. Maybe you'll see that it wasn't him but it was you who was commitment-phobic. Whatever it is, you'll understand yourself better.
Till then, relax and take deep breaths. You've got this!
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