"You don't just get married to your spouse, you get married to their family too!" You've definitely heard this statement from one or more people in your family, most probably your mother, right before you got married. Yes, I get the emotion behind this statement, but I strongly believe that you get married to your spouse, and are only associated with their family. While his or her family members are part of the package, they are not a part of your intimacy and they do not share the same journey as the two of you.
This becomes all the more important to understand for a woman who is moving in with her in-laws after marriage. Every girl hopes to go to a family where she feels welcomed and loved, and her hopes just go higher up if she happens to have a sister-in-law. A SIL is supposed to be a friend and confidante. But sometimes, that is not the case. If you are struggling with a difficult sister-in-law, then here are five graceful ways of dealing with it. Hope these help!
Ignorance is bliss, especially when dealing with a rude and difficult person. If your sister-in-law is doing little things that irritate you but don't necessarily affect you directly, it's always best to ignore them. This way she will also get the message that you're not paying heed to her, and she might just back off.
There is no harm in letting you sister-in-law into your inner circle, but make sure she is trustworthy. You don't want to tell her something personal and then have her announcing it to the entire family at the dinner table, much to your embarrassment. If your SIL is someone like that, then you better not let her get too involved in your personal life. Don't ask her anything apart from what is necessary, don't tell her anything private and you'll be good.
Do not try to be a Goddess of acceptance and keep taking s**t from your sister-in-law. If there is something that bothers you about her (or any other member of your husband's family for that matter) let him know immediately. By this, I don't mean start cribbing and complaining, but just keep him in the loop. He might even talk to her on his own and settle things. So, just share how you feel with your better half.
Some people show their true colours when they are away from everyone's eyes. If your SIL just doesn't like you for some reason and tends to portray her dislike only when you two are alone, then you need to be careful. Play her at her own game and be super sweet to her when you're with others. That way, nobody will ever be able to hold you responsible if at all things come down to a full-fledged confrontation.
If nothing else is working and you've tried ignoring her, being smart and telling her off politely, then it's probably time to set things straight once and for all. Just tell her straight away that she needs to tone it down and get along with you in a civil manner, if not fall completely in love with you. A conversation always helps and this ought to put across the point perfectly well.
Hope these help!