"So, when is the big day?" This is one question that looms over the head of every 20 something. Especially at weddings it comes out of nowhere just when you're strating to get into the groove and have fun, because how the hell can you enjoy yourself when you aren't even married? "Beta, now she's also married, aapka number kab aayega?!" Or during the kaleera drop ceremony, it's like, "Oho! Isspe girao, hope she doesn't stay single all her life."
Argghhhhhhhhh! Can't someone breathe?
If you're a single girl or even if you're dating someone, may God be with you for those torturous few hours that these questions hover on top of your head like a guillotine. Trust me, I've been there. But till He isn't with you, here are some sassy comebacks you can give to shut these people up.
1. "I don't believe in the concept of marriage, I'd much rather sleep with my boyfriend and live in with him and have illegitimate babies!"
2. "Actually it's still not legal to marry within the same sex in India, but once I settle abroad, for sure!"
3. "Yeah, so the date has been fixed, it's the 10th of October 2018, ab bas ladka dhoondna hai!"
4. "Oops sorry aunty-ji, it's happening soon, I guess mama papa didn't want to invite you!"
5. "Ya, whenever you have that baby everyone is asking you to have, I'll get married."
6. "Uncle, when are you divorcing aunty?"
7. "He's not earning that much right now, so whenever he is rich enough for people to call me a gold-digger, that's when!"
8. "Actually aunty, he wants a Maserati but Papa can only afford Audi right now. So once the dowry haggling is done, be sure for that invitation and dry fruits ka dabba."
9. "You know actually I'm waiting to get pregnant, so whenever that happens, I'll call for a quick ceremony."
10. "This is awkward, I am actually married. In kindergarten, my crush and I eloped and did shaadi, so I'm already taken!"
11. "I'm still waiting for my Hogwarts acceptance letter, then school, then graduation, then thoda work ex, after that for sure!"
12. The lady who reads my tarot cards said that it will happen in the year of the cat on the eighth day of the solar eclipse. Still waiting!"
13. "The thing is Anushka has already stolen my man, so just waiting for their affair to end, then for sure."
14. "Hmm... marriage... uh, not sure, could you spell that for me?"
15. "Actually you know what, we were just waiting for you to ask only."
16. "Hmm, that's not on the cards right now, primarily because I don't have a guy, but feel free to give me your shagun ka lifafas, I'll gladly accept!"
17. "How about..... NO!"
Come next shaadi and you have to give these a go!
Image Source: Giphy
POPxo's first web series 'Unmarried' with associate partner Lifestyle, fashion partner Numero Uno, dating app partner Woo and salon partner Neu Salonz is coming soon. Check out the trailer here!