I recently went for a wedding where I was introduced to a distant cousin of mine. She went to the US a few years back to pursue higher studies and started working there. She met Ankit at her workplace, a decent and well-mannered guy whom she instantly developed a liking for. They were in the same department so they ended up spending a lot of time with each other and eventually fell in love. Nimisha, my cousin was 25 years old then and Ankit was 34. But since they were in love, they really never felt that their age gap made any difference to their relationship. Three years later, they are still as happy and in sync as they were back then.
This got me thinking if all couples with an age gap feel the same way or it’s just that these two got lucky in love. I talked to five married women about what their thoughts were on this, and I got some pretty varied answers. Take a look:
1. ‘Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t’
My husband and I have a seven years age gap. I won’t lie and say that it never bothers me. Sometimes it does, because we have completely different social circles, and we can just never chill together. He thinks my friends are too kiddish, and all his friends are 40 and above. So yes, we never socialise together. And the sad part is that not all couples with an age gap have this issue. I have friends who have a similar same age difference but still manage to go out with their partners and friends together, but in my case it’s different.
– Nidhi Kavle
2. ‘The age difference never really mattered’
When I started dating Abhishek, I was 23 and he was 28 and that’s when the age difference clearly mattered. I was in that wild phase of life and commitment was a huge issue. He had already crossed that stage and was looking for something more serious. We had our fair share of ups and downs but luckily, we could work it all out and be together. I’m so glad he stuck with me when I was my worst self.
Within a year or two, our relationship (and I) matured and were ready to take the plunge. The age difference never really mattered after that. In fact, I was happy that he was more experienced and well settled in life and that made sure we didn’t have those initial bumps that most newly married couples go through. At the end of the day, if you love each other and are able to sort out your differences, age is really not that big a deal. Though I personally find it hard to figure out how couples with a huge age difference work out, 5 – 7 years is pretty normal.
– Manasvi Jaitly
3. ‘Age is really just a number’
I don’t believe that age difference really matters in a marriage. I have close friends who have married men that are 6 years older as well as others whose husbands are a year or 2 younger than they are. Whereas, my husband and I are the same age which has worked out better for us, since we met in school. If we weren’t the same age, then maybe we probably wouldn’t have ever met. Age really is just a number, guys!
– Priyanka Ghura
4. ‘We have experienced life together’
I met my now fiance in college when we were both pursuing our post-graduation courses. He is almost a year younger to me, but honestly, it doesn’t make a difference at all! In a way, we have experienced life together – we completed our education at the same time, started working also at the same time. It wasn’t like either of us had already been through one stage. So, our understanding and bonding was at a different level.
– Tanaya Seth
5. ‘I really wish we could make our age gap vanish somehow’
I got married when I was 24 to a guy my parents chose for me. He was a well-educated, well-settled and he fit my parent’s expectations perfectly. To be honest, at that point even I thought he was my Prince Charming. He is almost five years elder to me, and initially the age gap did not bother me. But two years after our marriage, I hope we could just make it vanish. He does not understand my point of view, because he feels I’m being too kiddish. I also get really pissed off when that happens and then we fight. It might be that our personalities don’t match, but I personally blame the age difference for it.
– Kirti Nayar
These were some contrasting answers, but well, at least now we know that we can never have one definite answer to this debate.
