Desi weddings and their grand affairs, I tell you! If you're going for that big, fat Indian wedding, let me tell you one thing- it's going to be one heck of a roller coaster ride. From aunties and didis to dancing and partying, you just won't be able to catch a breath during the four-day extravaganza that is a desi shaadi. But among all that, there are a few conversations that you can't help but overhear at every freaking wedding function ever, and you know what, we've all been there.
1. Aunties deciding the fate of every 20-something girl
“You know he’s a doctor in the US! Haan, ladke ke abroad wale mama-ji ka beta hai. Main kaunsa keh rahi hoon shaadi karle usse, she just has to meet him and talk. Rest we can decide later.”
Yeah, if for one second you've got respite from the "next wedding will be yours" slogan, chances are that you'll overhear someone else's fate being decided.
2. The food is pretty average right?!
You know you're at an Indian wedding when the guests (after taking three helpings of the shahi paneer) say that the food is not that great! They'll be standing at the buffet table and just be bickering about the naans not being hot enough and the catering being pretty ordinary.
3. "Who was that girl dancing on Bom Diggy Diggy during the sangeet last night?"
Oh, the boy gang and their boy talk! You'll always see the groomsmen standing in one corner asking the dulha about his bride's friends and sisters. So what if she's still in college, that's not too young, right!?
4. The "OMG! The lighting here is so bawmb, please click my picture na!"
Well, let's face it ladies, Indian outfits and shaadi shenanigans are gold on Insta. And while we all want our social media to be lit, there's always that one girl who takes it up a notch. Yup, all she wants is someone to click photos of her with her makeup on point while she pouts and hashtags #JustIndianWeddingThings. (*ahem me ahem*)
5. The friends of the couple who are always in search of alcohol
These are the kids who get the closest table to the bar and don't budge from there all night at the sangeet. But on the D-Day when it's an alcohol-free zone, they're just always scrambling for the car-o-bar. "Parking lot meh chal raha hai? C'mon guys let's go, I'm way too sober RN." Yeah, that's not water in those tiny Bisleri bottles!
6. The bride and groom making small talk with their relatives they never knew existed
Yeah when the bride's maami ke cousin ke uncle ka beta comes and tells her that they played together one summer as kids and she has a blank expression, that's when you know. The couple will use generic names for these relatives like "uncle" "aunty" "bhaiya" and put on their biggest fake smile and welcome these guests to the fiesta.
7. The fashion critiques judging everyone's wedding looks
Oh yes, they're always there giving their expert opinion on the shaadi fashion, cause what's a wedding without some just-off-the-runway-looks?! "Don't you think Shreya overdid it with the red lehenga and the statement jewellery? Oh, and why is Sonali looking so jhataaak, summer weddings ke liye subtle rehena chahiye!"
We're sure, you've definitely overheard these convos at every desi wedding ever. But you know what, all these people with all their quirks are what makes a shaadi the crazy fun-filled affair that we all love to hate! ❤