It would be fantastic to have a homegrown social networking site to give Facebook competition, don’t you think? And it’s not so far-fetched a reality! The chairman of Mahindra Group, Anand Mahindra tweeted that he’s thinking of funding a desi version of Facebook. People have already started flooding him with ideas and plans, and we are wondering what would happen if Facebook were really Indian. So, we floated the question around and these responses by the POPxo Team are hilarious!
“To sign up on Facebook, you’d need to give your Aadhaar Card details and get biometrics done. The reactions on posts or comments would change from Smile, Angry, Heart to ‘Unsanskari’, ‘Hay Ram’, ‘Anti-Nationalist’ and ‘Mummy Ko Bataun?’”
– Apeksha Bhateja, Editor, Branded Content
“Instead of birthday reminders, we’ll get reminders like – ‘Beta, khana khaya?’, ‘Ghar kab aaoge?’, ‘Kabhi toh phone utha liya karo!’”
– Sayunkta Jain, Senior Fashion Writer
“All women’s profile pictures that show skin below the face will be banned and reported, automatically; any kind of liberal opinion on their status updates would be filtered and automatically rephrased by a bot. And, the best of all, there will be no relationship status feature. All boys on our friends’ lists would be brothers, fathers, or husbands.”
– Dessidre Fleming, Lifestyle Editor
“All cuss words would be pixelated, just like they are beeped out in movies and TV shows. Or a ‘f*ck’ would automatically show up as ‘duck’, because abuses never happen in the open in Indian society.”
– Isheeta Sharma, Junior Lifestyle Editor
“Can you imagine posting a sexy picture on Facebook and a notification popping up that says, “Has your mummy approved this picture?” Well, I can, if Facebook were Indian. Also, imagine messaging with a cute boy on Messenger and a copy of the chat is forwarded to your parents because if a guy and a girl are texting, they need to be rishta-d asap! Hilarious, but possible!”
– Srishti Gupta, Senior Lifestyle Writer
“If Facebook were Indian, it would turn into a matrimonial site almost overnight. With ignorant parents flooding the comments section with, “Want a fair, sanskari, thin girl for a well-educated groom.” Soon it would announce a partnership with Shaadi.com and replace every neighbourhood rishta aunty.”
– Akanksha Bhatia, Lifestyle Writer
“Instead of reactions like Like, happy, sad, and angry, we’d have emojis for ‘Oh Teri!’, or ‘Hay, Hay’, ‘Phatey Mooh’ and ‘Waah! Kya baat, kya baat’.”
– Ruchira Bose, Head Of Content
POPxo is getting a makeover and we could not be more excited – a brand new look, fun features and a big surprise!! Check us out on April 2 🙂
Images: Giphy, Shutterstock
