Wanna know what I was up to last week? Attending Amazon India Fashion Week Autumn Winter 2018, betches! The lights, the fashion had a weird effect on me - I was suddenly awash with inspiration and ideas. It was like all my nerve endings had lit up. It was then that I had an epiphany. How cool would it be if I turn into a stylist for the stars? Be BFFs with stylists like Shaleena and Antara, going to holidays with Deepika, editorials in the biggest fashion magazines of the world. Oh, what a life would it be? None of these stars were physically present at fashion week so I’m thinking...Great! This is my opportunity. I gotta pounce! I took really nice pictures too, from my iPhone X #BraggingRights.
My plan was to DM them and then when they see the images and realise how well I know their style and how resourceful I am to make it to the FROW no less, they’d just be like ‘Whhhut! Where has this girl been all our lives?’ Of course, they’ll then get in touch with their agents to put me on a plane to Bombay, and buy me a flat in Juhu (Juhu is close to Film City so it’ll be easier to commute to them).
My girl, Malaika loves her tidy-whities and anything that shows off that bodacious-mama-bod. This Wendell Rodricks number meets everything on her checklist - white to show off that beautiful dusky skin tone, cutouts to show off those abs and it’s just the right length and style for her numerous red carpet appearances.
This piece was my absolute fave over the #5DaysOfFashion so it’s only fitting that Rihanna, the woman that I worship, gets to keep it. This could be my entry into Hollywood, YAY! Not to mention this is very Rihanna or are you forgetting her penchant for ruffles and exaggerated silhouettes?
Oh, how I envy those long legs! This girl can wear a garbage bag and make it look chic. When she’s not doing her usual graphic tee/ jeans ensemble, she loves herself some loose-flowy boho dresses, cinched to show off that tiny waist. I say will you give me a call STAT!
If you’re an Alia Bhatt fan, you would know that this one swears by day dresses, floral prints, and sneakers. She’s young and having fun, so this dress is perfect for her jet-setting, goofing around lifestyle.
Nicki Minaj doesn’t do dresses. She does bodysuits and not the way we do bodysuits - hers are worn sans bottoms. A cape for the Queen is only fitting. Now, I know Minaj has enough of these space-age sunglasses, but she sure won’t mind a few more. It’s not like she struggles with mere mortal worries - like budgets, or closet space, amiright?
Enough digs have been taken on Neha Dhupia for wearing “house clothes”, all by K.Jo. I’ll spare her those and get right to the point. If she’s comfortable in it, who the F cares?
In case you are wondering, the wheels of my plan are already in motion. I have DMed all the concerned people. I’m not expecting a reply right away, of course. These stars are crazy busy after all! But hopefully, soon. In the meanwhile, I have some packing to do!