"If I had to rate how happy we are in our relationship, I would rate it 10 all along. Neither of us would change a thing!" quips Savi. Meet the sweethearts of social media, digital entrepreneurs and social media influencers who are changing the way people approach travel. But it's not just their work, Savi and Vid of Bruised Passports are the definition of a happy and healthy marriage. Their Instagram posts are proof of Vid's photography skills and their Insta stories come packed with infectious smiles, positive vibes and lots of love and hugs! They've travelled to over 80 countries together and while we love to read about their adventures, we've always been curious to know how they've managed to carve out such a beautiful marriage and life together. We got Savi to give us an insight into their lives and share with us the secret to a happy marriage.
It seems like I've known Vid forever - we first met in high school in New Delhi, started dating a couple of years later and got married almost 8 years after we first started dating. We've been married for aeons but if I had to rate how happy we are in our relationship on a scale of 1 to 10, I would rate it 10 all along. Neither of us would change a thing! :)
It's hard to pinpoint just what makes a happy relationship work, but I think if we had to pick one thing, it would be that our relationship is premised on what works for the two of us and the things that make us happy, NOT societal stereotypes. Both of us think relationships should be allowed to flower and flow organically.
For instance, we quit our jobs in London to travel the world together despite questions & protests from family and friends. We said no to a traditional Hindu marriage, steeped in patriarchal customs such as kanyadaan, and opted for a simple civil ceremony devoid of gifts instead.
We've made several compromises to chase our happiness along the way. For instance, in 2008 Vid quit his well-paying job in Singapore
to join me in London on a whim as we had had enough of a long-distance relationship. But when it comes to emotional or mental compromises, there have been none because we are both extremely opinionated people and truly feel compromising one's individuality or opinions can only lead to unhappiness in relationships.
Clearly, both of us disagree with almost EVERY trope in the Marriage Dictionary (whatever that is!). I don’t get worked up often but joke about enjoying the last days of “freedom” before getting married or nagging partners and you’ll definitely see me fuming. Ask that idiotic question - “who wears the pants in the family?” and I will punch you. I kid! Unfortunately, most of us internalise these stereotypes growing up in this crazy lopsided patriarchal universe and end up stencilling them onto our relationships, romantic or otherwise, instead of letting relationships FLOWER and flow organically.
But I would really encourage you to break these mental shackles and question redundant stereotypes for your happiness (and sanity!). Living with someone need not be nagging wives, macho husbands, gendered duties, or bloated egos - those are societal constructs that need to be binned. We are often asked WHY WE ARE HAPPY?! Here’s the answer - We don’t like blindly accepting mainstream notions of romance or marriage and we aren’t scared to think for ourselves! So here’s OUR advice, based on what we have learnt along the way.
Prioritise kindness, prioritise respect, and prioritise LOVE in relationships. Be it at your first try or twentieth, when you find a person you truly vibe with, strive to create a space where cohabiting is not about power play but bouncing ideas off each other, giving each other space and trusting with closed eyes, taking decisions together, being resolutely independent yet having fun together, being vulnerable together and being INVINCIBLE together, chasing individual dreams & chasing common ones. It is about showing each other the rainbow at the end of the tunnel. Fulfilling whims that might not make complete sense. Nurturing each other's passions. And giving each other WINGS to fly.
It’s these little things, with a generous smattering of cuddles and kisses along the way, that make marriages work. Try to nourish your relationship in a way that will help you lead full lives saturated with happiness, passion, mindfulness, and holistic well-being. It’ll be a walk in the park if you LET it be.
If you're not already, you need to follow Bruised Passports on Instagram for travel AND relationship goals. Stay awesome, you guys!
POPxo is getting a makeover and we could not be more excited - a brand new look, fun features and a big surprise!! Check us out on April 2 :)