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When it’s your first real heartbreak, you feel completely blindsided. I mean, wasn’t this supposed to last forever? Then you somehow recover from that and take a chance on love again, only to get your heartbroken...yet again. You’d think that you learned from the first time, and you would be better at dealing with this now, but that’s almost never the case. In fact, because you went into it again, knowing the risks, you probably were more careful, more protective of your new relationship - you handled it with care.
Which is what makes it even worse. No matter how many times you’ve experienced it, it never gets better. It always hurts.
What’s important, after a brutal break-up, is the path forward. You have to be very careful about the next steps you take, because they will set the tone for your new life, one that doesn’t include the person you loved so deeply. Although nothing can magically fix a broken heart, it is possible to manage the pain. Here’s a list of things you can do to recover from a heartbreak.
Refuse to be left hanging. In order for you to move forward, you have to have some kind of closure. If the person you love broke your heart...what does it mean for the two of you? Are you breaking up? If yes, it should be clear to both of you. If you want to work through your problems, and heal together, that’s also a decision you have to make together. Whatever you decide to do, both your intentions should be transparent. Communication is key.
It’s easy to slip. Try your best not to. When you’re overcome with emotion and aren’t thinking straight, try to prioritise the future and your plans over short-term pleasure. Remember how much it hurt to let them go. Do you really want to go through that again? I’d go as far as saying that ego is a good tool to use in situations like this. Let your pride keep you from being stupid and making irrational mistakes.
Have a friend who has dogs? They might need a hand? How about you walk their dog, or babysit it for a day. Spending time with friendly, fluffy creatures can be a great outlet for all the emotions you’re feeling. Channel them into some real puppy love.
Or drastic transformation of any kind. These ideas could be your broken heart talking. Besides, you don’t want to give them the satisfaction - changing yourself to get over them. And while we are on the subject, please don’t post constantly on social media like an obsessed person trying to prove how cool your life is even without them. No one buys that for a second; they see right through it.
Like cleaning, cooking is constructive and therapeutic. Why not go on YouTube and learn some fun, healthy recipes (instead of binging on ice-cream or chocolate or junk food)? At the end of the cooking, you get to have the delicious food you just cooked, and it’s homemade and healthy!
Remember who you were before you met the person who broke your heart. Do the things you used to do, that made you happy. Chances are, you still enjoy them, you just need to do some re-discovery.
Focus on being healthy and fit. It’ll help your self-esteem and make you feel better about yourself. Maybe buy a Fitbit, to track your activities, like steps, heartbeats and sleep. As you start seeing positive results, you’ll feel more energized and happy!
As a bonus tip, I must add - write. Even if you think you’re not great with words, trust me, writing down your feelings will take a weight off your shoulders. Sometimes, there are things you don’t want to share with others, or you can’t tell anyone else. Writing helps you get them out. No one else needs to read it, but maybe you need to write it?
About The Author
Nikita Singh is the bestselling author of 10 novels, including Every Time It Rains and Like a Love Song. She is also a contributing writer to The Backbenchers series and the editor of two collections of short stories, 25 Strokes of Kindness and The Turning Point. Born in Patna and raised in Indore, Nikita worked in the book publishing industry in New Delhi for a few years before moving to New York for her MFA in Creative Writing (Fiction) at The New School. Nikita lives in Manhattan, where she does digital content and marketing for a solar energy company.
Images: Giphy, Shutterstock