Most of my college life I tried figuring out what a relationship was supposed to be like. What are the dynamics, how does it work, is the power play for real? And just when I thought I was starting to get the hang of it, the dating world changed and I was informed there is something called an ‘almost relationship’. And funnily enough, I had been in plenty of them before I even knew what it was.
In an almost relationship, boy meets girl. Both, boy and girl have been previously heartbroken and have all but given up on the hope of finding love. But, they like each other so they are now in a situation they didn’t imagine. They want to be with each other but they also don’t want to be with each other (hello millennial issues!) and so they settle down on not labelling anything. They meet almost every week, share their life’s stories, laugh together, dance together, sleep together BUT (and that is one huge capital but) they are not in a relationship.
If the two of your constantly avoid saying the following words - ‘relationship’, ‘boyfriend’, ‘girlfriend’ and ‘love’ - and would rather go with ‘sorta kinda seeing each other’ then yes, you are in an almost relationship.
Let me say it clearly and out loud, being in an almost relationship is not easy. Because unlike a regular relationship, there are no dynamics. Things could go berserk any moment and you wouldn’t even know why you are crying into a bucket of ice cream for a man who is not even your boyfriend. Here are the three kinds of situations you can find yourself in and what you need to know then.
1. You are both aware that this is an almost relationship and are not ready to commit.
Well, now this one is a choice you make. You are not absolutely sure about this guy you met and vice versa so you’d rather keep it this way. In which case, having any type of hopes and expectations from the future would be downright naive. Oops, did I get a little harsh? It’s just the way it is. I’ve been there, to be honest, where initially I did not want to be serious but within a few months I was cribbing about the fact that he wasn’t calling every night. That’s a big no-no in an almost relationship. You need to prepare yourself for having zero expectations.
2. You have an inkling feeling that this is an almost relationship but you haven’t had a conversation about it.
First, have a conversation about it. Save yourself the drama and just ask him. You don’t want to find out later after you’ve just slept together for the first time. Always, always have your cards on the table. And only if your cards match is it a good idea to swipe right IRL. Second, make a choice. It’s never easy, of course but you have to decided whether you want something serious or non-serious and not just in the short-term.
3. You know it is an almost relationship and you most definitely don’t want to be in it…
...but now you like the way he says your name and the way he smiles when he sees you after not answering your calls for a couple a days. Maybe he was busy? Nope. No. Remember a man is never too busy to inform you that he is busy. So, if you know he wants to just meet you when he needs to, it’s time to walk out with those goddamn boots on. Whether it is an almost relationship or a definite one, they are hard work so make sure it’s worth your while.