Hi, there!
Here’s a fun fact about me, I like cute guys. Which is why I connected with your gaze when you looked at me from across the metro coach. And for a minute, I blushed; I really did. But, then I noticed something peculiar, you weren’t looking at my eyes, or my face. Your gaze was transfixed just a few inches below – on my bare neck and the slight hint of cleavage that you managed to fixate on. Suddenly, you weren’t so cute anymore. My face turned red again…but this time it was on account of being acutely conscious of what I was wearing, a sense of embarrassment sweeping over me…
It’s moments like these that make me realize why feminism exists. Because I, a typical example of a ‘well-educated, young and independent woman’ felt embarrassed and regret for not choosing something that covered my chest when a man like you stares. That’s why we need feminism. It’s because there are still moments when I end up blaming myself, instead of blaming you. But guess what! Not today! Let’s talk about you for a while. You are not a rapist, are you? May not be. You didn’t whistle at me, either, so technically, you are not even an eve-teaser. No, you’re a man who ‘just stared’. And I bet that’s the argument you throw around too, it’s not like you ‘actually did anything’. ‘What’s the harm in looking, anyway, right?’ Wrong.
No, thank you, for making me – even if it was just for a minute – doubt my choice of clothes. No, thank you, for not looking away when I awkwardly started fidgeting and you noticed. No, thank you, for that burning stare I couldn’t avoid even when I was looking away. No, thank you, for making it obvious, yet again, that we live in a patriarchy where men call the shots because they can do as they please.
You think you’re better than ‘those men’; but, you’re not. You are the perfect depiction of casual sexism. It’s what leaves a woman, despite her better judgement, wondering why she didn’t choose a different set of clothes. So, I am putting this out here, really hoping this letter finds you. Because not walking up to you today and giving you a piece of my mind, has now topped the list of things I regret.
With Scathing Disapproval and Loathing,
Just Another Woman
Featured Image: Shutterstock
