They say matches are made in heaven, I was pretty sure ours was too. He had the perfect looks, played football (so, the perfect body too), loved holding my hand and would stay back during lunch to spend more time with me.
Our story began in Class 10, when we played two of the three wise men at our school’s Christmas play. Spending most of our time together, his dimpled smile and light brown eyes had my heart melting at the age of 15. Twilight had just become the next big thing, so his Edward Cullen-esque charm worked like magic on my teenage mind. He was ‘sweet’ in an endearing way, always there when I needed to talk, we even had study dates (where we actually studied!), all in all, the perfect boyfriend.
But the problems began creeping into our relationship when he became a part of my friend circle. After 6 months of being together, my friends had become his best buds and his had become mine. All boys like spending time with their ‘guy’ friends post-school but I had gotten so used to his attention that when I didn’t get all of his free time (which I had gotten before), I got cranky.
Slowly, I turned into the third-wheel when we hung out together. Where my boyfriend and my best friend played Play Station for hours and I sat by myself, usually reading. But I hadn’t been in a relationship before, so I thought I was just overreacting about him spending time with his boys. After almost a month of being the ‘other’, I decided to have a talk with him about it.
What better way to have the ‘talk’ than over a pizza in your bedroom. So, on a sunny study date, after a cute makeout session (I was too young and afraid to try anything beyond that and he was too understanding to pressurize me), I sat him down and looked into his beautiful eyes.
“I know I sound like a jealous girlfriend, but I need you to know that the time you’re spending with Rishab is eating away into our relationship. I need to see you more often and honestly, I just feel unappreciated.”
“Baby, I’m sorry. I had no idea. It just feels natural to spend time with him and I thought he was your best friend too?”
“He is, but come one! I’m your girlfriend! Don’t I deserve more of your time?”
“Of course you do! It won’t happen again, I promise.”
And that was it, we hugged and made up. But the next week, I woke up to a frantic phone call from him at 3 am on a Saturday morning. “We need to talk. I can’t deal with this anymore. I know I said it was harmless but this guilt is causing shame. Please just listen to what I have to say.”
My heart raced, was he breaking up with me? The last eight months had been great, yes we’d had our ups and downs but we didn’t need to breakup over it? He understood me, we had a connection that I’d never had with another guy. Who else would go shopping with me? And teach me how Football works as I cluelessly watch matches with him and his team?
“I think I like Rishab”
“I know, I like him too”
“You don’t understand, I like like him”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not sure, it’s all too confusing and I didn’t know who else to talk to. You’re my best friend and….. “
“Calm down, we’ll talk about this tomorrow morning. Just please go back to bed. Let's meet for lunch?”
So, that’s how it went down, my boyfriend told me he had feelings for my best friend. And three years later, we sat together at his dining table as he came out to his parents. I will always love him, and so will he. But more as siblings now than lovers, he’s the one that got away and yet, continues to be my sunshine.