Imagine this! You’ve been on few dates with this amazing guy who checks all the boxes and you feel a real connection with. Things are heating up between you two and getting a little serious. You’re attracted to him both physically and emotionally but you have no clue what to do. Should you stick to making out or go ahead and sleep with him? When is the right time to take things to the next level? You are constantly plagued by the question about whether it’s too soon to have sex or not. So, we decided that it’s time we answered your (and our) questions once and for all to settle this debate and give us all some peace of mind!
Is There One Right Answer?
First things first, there is NO right answer to this question. Since no two relationships are the same, you cannot have a definite, ‘yes/no’, ‘one month/two months’ sort of an answer, if that’s what you are looking for! If you’re in it for only sex, then, by all means, feel free to have sex within the first ten minutes. If you wish for something more serious and more meaningful to happen, maybe waiting for a little while might just be your best bet!
But, Why Wait?
According to Dr. Carla Manly, who told AskMen.Com, "When sexuality occurs early in a relationship, the relationship becomes based on the unconscious addiction to the highs of the neurochemicals that are created during sex and orgasm." This means that unconsciously, you will end up making sex the foundation of the relationship and not emotions. She also added that "When these levels fall off as sexuality declines (or in between times of sexuality), the partners may associate the negative feelings (sadness, depression, loneliness) with their partner. The partners then may come to unconsciously avoid or blame their partner for these feelings."
So What Should You Do?
"When sexual intimacy is delayed for at least three to six months, the couple then has a foundation that can become augmented by the passion of sexuality," says Dr. Carla. So basically, if you spend the initial few months bonding with each other, getting closer emotionally, spending time indulging in activities and interests that you both love and enjoy, you have higher chances of crossing the one-year mark!
Basically, science says that you need to base your relationship on the emotional foundation instead of the sexual one and if science says, we cannot argue!
But know that no matter when you decide to have sex, if it's meant to be, it will happen!