8 Replies For Every Guy Who Doesn’t Want To Wear A Condom In Bed!

Wouldn’t we all love to live in a utopian world where we reach the magical ‘O’ every time ‘shawty got low, low, low’? Truth be told, we just spend the penultimate deciding moment checking with the guy a gazillion times that he has a rubber on him. In an ideal world the answer would be a definite yes. But, of course, our world is far from ideal and men seem to have a special hatred towards wearing a condom.

I have heard everything from ‘you are anyway supposed to be on birth control’ to ‘I can control myself’ as excuses to avoid wearing a condom. It is not just plain rude but it can cause accidental pregnancies and let’s not forget sexually transmitted diseases! The next time a guy tries to spill that kind of bullsh*t, ladies, here are 8 fitting replies!

1. No Condom, No Sex, Baby!

Yeah, let’s get that clear before your junior tries to cosy up against us!

2. Yeah, actually, you are such great father material!

Delivered with the most sinister of smiles, this one line is enough to freak the heck outta him.

3. Just out of curiosity, how many people have given you STIs?

He should know, since he is so averse to wearing the condom.

Safety is sexy, ladies, buy this pack of 10 Durex Condoms for Rs 126.

4. ‘Doesn’t it feel good without one?’ Does it look like I’d want to find out?!

Nope, nada!

5. You know what are messier than condoms? Babies.

Boy, bye!

6. Too big for a condom is it? Delusions of grandeur, darling?

The excuses just don’t stop!

7. ‘Nehiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii’

A dramatic outburst for every time he asks you, “don’t you trust me?”

The book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, is a perfect guide to understanding the behaviour of the opposite sex. Buy it for Rs 158.

8. I hope you and your hand have a nice time tonight!

See ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya!

GIFs: Giphy