Nancy B. Varghese
It’s about time you and I have a serious heart to heart about something that’s been on my mind for years now. I sincerely hope you sit up and take notice because it’s going to be important for you to understand this about not just me, but thousands of women like me, who share my sentiments.
Let me start off by saying that you can’t be the one to tell me ‘it’s time’ to settle down, ‘it’s time’ to have babies, or ‘it’s time’ to go back home because it’s late. Since when did my vagina start leading to a curfew? Or a ticking time-bomb that’s dangerous to mankind? As a fully functioning adult, I see no harm in leaving my house after the sun has set, and have a wonderful time with my friends, colleagues, and peers. I understand that in a world where women are constantly harassed, leered, and sexually abused, you’d want women to be safe. But when does it become okay for you to tell women ‘Behave yourself, and don’t get raped’, but it’s not okay to tell men ‘Behave yourself and DON’T rape!’?
As for sanskaars and rules that proclaim women who go out at nights have poor moral values in them - honey I couldn’t care less. The people who matter to me, and the people to whom I matter have the clearest picture of who I am, as a person. Judgement from strangers doesn’t affect me, and my dear sweet world, it really shouldn’t be any of your business either! I am NOT sorry I stay out late or if I step out late from home. My decision to have a good time when I do has nothing to do with how pure I am, or how impure my character will be in the eyes of the world. If ‘log kya kahenge’ is on the cards, let me assure you, I don’t give a hoot!
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If you’re looking for a daughter-in-law to lovingly bring into your home, why should my love for partying soil my reputation in your eyes? What has my love for going out at nights got to do with how incredible a person I can be if you just spend time knowing about me? It’s easy to judge women, pointing fingers at her ‘loose’ character, and slut-shaming her for no reason other than the fact that she enjoys being herself and is unashamed of living life by her rules. I could name women of all ethnicities, races, financial backgrounds, and religion who YOU may have figured it all out, based on your definition of ‘good values’ for a woman, who can proudly vouch for being excellent mothers, daughters, sisters and lovers to the people in their lives. And their happy late nights have got nothing to do with it! After everything that’s been said and done, here’s what I want to leave you with:
I am not sorry that I stay out late at night and have a good time.
I am not sorry if I ever get labelled a ‘slut’ for how I choose to live my life.
I am not sorry for being selfish every now and then and treat myself to a night full of beauty and fun with the people I love.
I am not sorry that my lifestyle paints me in poor light for your requirements of a ‘good woman’ in society.
What I am sorry for is that you, dear world, by imposing your rules, are missing out on appreciating the truly wonderful women that make you a better place to live in.
A Woman Who Loves The Night
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