I first saw him at a party, our eyes met across the juice bar. We both wanted guava juice. Doesn’t sound very romantic, does it? Well, it was. Not many people can understand the power of a nicely churned out guava juice. But we, apparently, did.
I found him cute the minute I saw him, there was no denying the fact. Now I am not one of those people who finds it easy to talk to the opposite sex. Quite the contrary, actually, I would never be the first one to approach a guy.
But that day, I decided something ought to change. So I smiled at him and while he took a sip from his glass of guava juice, I asked him “Is it any good?” “Yes, try it..” he replied. I nodded, taking a sip. I couldn’t have cared less about the guava juice in that moment. We started talking and exchanged numbers so we could be in touch. Two hours after the party, I texted him about a really cool juice parlour that we could visit together and that’s how it began. We started meeting, talking on the phone, messaging and I knew that I wanted more than just friendship.
Despite everything that I felt for him, I was scared to actually express my feelings out loud. What was I going to say? I had no clue what he felt for me… if he felt anything at all. When I told this to my friends they convinced me to talk to him about this. “What are you scared of? What have you got to lose, anyway?” they said and they were right. One day while we were out for ice cream, I decided to tell him. But I still couldn’t say the words out loud. So I decided to text him…
“Hey, I know you are standing two feet away but there is something I need to say to you. I really like you, as more than just a friend. And I want to maybe take this a little forward, if you’d like, that is…”
Of course, I hadn’t thought it through, because he didn’t check his phone while he was with me. And it was only when we had parted that I saw the blue ticks on my message. And that was that. He didn’t reply. I kept waiting but he never replied. My anxiety made me immediately call up my friend to tell her what had happened. “Why won’t he reply?” I screamed. “Even if he wants to say no, he can say it. But at least, reply!”
He never replied. And by never I mean, till date, I never heard back from him. It’s like he disappeared into thin air. I never tried contacting him either because my ego didn’t allow it. But it hurt. It hurt quite a lot. For the longest time I regretted making the first move. I still do when it comes to him. It left me in such a vulnerable position that I do not even know how to climb out of it. Of course, I know that I eventually will and maybe when the time is right, I would make the first move again on somebody. But, until then, the men will have to just try harder.