We all have hopes and dreams for the first year of our married lives. But as you already know, life is not a bed of roses. Along with the many romantic moments and memorable firsts, there is also a lot of adjustment and challenges we never saw coming. Let’s look at some of them now and please remember, that in case you’re going through it…you’re not at all alone! These are some very real challenges that literally every girl faces in the first year of marriage. Promise!
We are all super pampered at our own homes even though we may think we are responsible and ‘new-age’. This reality hits us when we no more have that protective bubble around us (aka our parents) and we suddenly feel the pressure to be all grown up and this can be supremely overwhelming at first.
Suddenly you have double the social commitments and two different friends circles. It can get very overwhelming keeping up with all that plus trying to maintain a career. Not to mention that you and him are always trying to get quality alone time. All in all, it’s a juggling act and you are not used to this!
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You two may or not be living with in laws but there is a certain level of adjustment all newly married girls grapple with. If you feel like you are the only one with these problems, don’t worry. We have it on good authority that this is the number one cause for struggles even in today’s day and age. All we can say is, do your best to adjust but don’t blindly accept things. Slowly, you’ll find a balance in these tricky situations too. Don’t let things overwhelm you too much and take your husband’s help and support every step of the way. You are not in this alone.
While our mothers may have happily settled into their roles as homemakers, we on the other hand are cut from a different cloth. Our whole generation is a different way. We don’t like feeling smothered. We need our own time and breathing space and yes, this is a very real challenge in the first few months of being married.
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Yes, as grown girls we rarely admit what a challenge this is. But our old life was very much our comfort zone. You could miss your old routine, your parents, your siblings – anything that you were totally used to. It’s okay, it’s totally normal!
Yeah yeah, you love him – there’s no doubting that! But living with a boy can take some adjustment. Maybe his hygiene is not up to your standard, or maybe his room is too drab for your taste. No matter what, it could take some time getting used to.
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No, you are not imagining it; making plans just seems tougher and tougher. If your friends are single then chances are, they don’t have the same scheduling issues as you do because they don’t need to keep another person in mind. If your friends are married then that means everyone is going through the same thing as you, lots of commitments and not enough time. Either way, you’ll miss the carefree days of hanging with your girls and indulging in endless gossip sessions.
You love your work and you really enjoy what you do, yet now days, you feel a sense of frustration often. This is because every time you need to sit late at work, you feel like you should be home with your husband. It will take some time, and perhaps even a few job switches, to find a sweet spot in your career where you have an exemplary work life balance. Women before us have done it, and women after us will do it too. We can have the best of both worlds, so don’t doubt that ever!
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One of the biggest adjustments is getting used to the fare in another home. What do they eat? What time do they eat? Are they vegetarian? Why so much spice?
It sounds like a silly and simple point to focus on but trust us when we say food forms a huge and important part of a newlywed’s adjustment into her new home. Besides, guys, it’s food. Food is bae. If food is sorted, life automatically seems sorted!
All can be well in your marital home. You and the husband can be very loved up, your in laws can be the understanding sorts, but you can still feel that something is amiss. That’s because you may not be feeling a sense of belonging still. If it still feels like it’s their house, and like you are not living in your own abode then you must be facing an internal struggle. Don’t worry, this is totally normal and truly diminishes over time.
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