Girls, we can agree that heartbreaks are the worst. Everything comes to a standstill at that moment and we are so consumed by grief that we don’t know how to move on from this specific time in our life. But the fact is that we are only holding ourselves back in the process. Here are 7 ways that you are making it difficult to move on – and you need to stop!
1. Still following him on social media
Some people can detach themselves from their exes while still being friends with them on social media. But it is only human to retrace your steps and find yourself pining to be involved in his life – and in a vicarious way, social media does help us have an easy go at that. So if you are finding it difficult to move on, unfollow your ex or make a promise to yourself to not look at his profile till you feel more at peace with making a fresh start in your life. There are several ways to block him without him realizing it.
2. Checking up with him from time to time
You can still remain on friendly terms with him but in such a situation it is best to rip off a bandaid rather than slowly peeling it off. What we mean is that when you are in such a fragile state of mind, it’s best to look out for yourself and heal your wounds first. Messaging him or wanting to keep in touch with him would not be the best idea in such a situation.
3. Hanging out with common friends
Because the chances of running into him in such a situation is rather high. Unless you are calling your friends home or specifically asking them to not invite him to a dinner or night out, there is no good way out of it. And even when he isn’t around, you aren’t immune to conversations about him which just crop up in the middle of nowhere. So, it is not that you have to forget who your friends are, but a slight bit of distance will definitely help.
4. Having his stuff in your house
Sometimes tangible, material things are the most potent reminder of a relationship not working out. His old t-shirt, his books and anything which reminds you of him, just make a concerted effort to either, give them back to him or put it in a box and keep it in your storeroom (hoping the ‘out of sight, out of mind’ adage works out in your favour).
5. Being his shoulder to cry on
Now that you are not in a relationship anymore, you don’t owe him anything, girl. Even if you have parted ways amicably, being available to him and his emotional needs will ensure that he is always on your mind and make it really difficult for you to move on.
6. Not having boundaries
Again, this differs from person to person but you have to establish very early on that he can’t tell you everything about his life or expect you be there at his beck and call because you’re not a couple anymore.
7. Not embracing the impermanence of life
We’ve all grown up watching romantic movies where a happily-ever-after is a given. But reality often has other plans. So, if a relationship doesn’t work out in your favour, understand that the duration of a relationship doesn’t determine its legitimacy. Five months or five years, if you really connected with a person and committed yourself to growing and evolving with him, you have achieved something amazing.
If you are in such a situation, be patient and kind to yourself. Give yourself the time and don’t dwell in supposed regrets or mistakes. Have faith in the fact that something great awaits you.
