Most of us make the mistake of not setting any boundaries in our romantic relationships. We feel that as someone gets close to us, we should let them all in and allow them to have a free run over our time, space, attention and feelings. But we fail to realize that this is what turns into a breeding ground for fights and arguments, later. For a healthy relationship to last, here are 9 ways to set boundaries with bae.
The first step towards setting boundaries is not becoming vulnerable, all too soon. We know you don’t want to hide anything from your lover, but it is essential that you withhold sensitive information about yourself and your past till you’re sure you won’t be judged for it or taken undue advantage because of it. And even then, there’s a right time, place and way of doing it.
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Our body language speaks to people more than our words do. Use it to your advantage to set boundaries. If you feel like he is being rude to you or intruding in your personal space without even realizing it - instantly change your posture and your tone of voice, so that he gets the message, without even having to say so.
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We often put our own needs in the back seat of a relationship and that’s where problems start brewing. It’s important to pay heed to your own physical, emotional and mental needs. Only then can you draw the line and expect him to respect it.
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If something your partner does or says that hurts you, it is important that you voice it out. We understand that it’s difficult to say no a partner, but being firm is better than feeling hurt forever – both for you and your relationship.
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Your partner may feel slightly hurt and may not understand why you need to set boundaries, but before you sit him down to explain yourself, you’ve got to stop feeling guilty. Self-respect goes a long way in maintaining healthy relationships and it can’t be put on the back burner for anyone. And that’s what setting boundaries are all about.
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Whatever it is that you just can’t tolerate – be it lying, cheating or even snooping into each others’ personal mails or texts – let it be known. Don’t mince words while speaking your truth and do it directly and assertively so that your partner knows just how serious you are about all this.
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People aren’t mind readers so you shouldn’t expect them to just know about your feelings intuitively. Have the patience to communicate your emotions to your partner from the beginning of your relationship, without being afraid of any backlash from them. You see, the right person will respect your feelings and try to understand your needs.
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If you expect another person to respect your boundaries, you need to respect his too. If there’s something he doesn’t like and makes it known to you, keep it in mind and follow it through. After all, you want him to treat you the way you treat him, right?
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Breakthroughs don’t happen overnight, just like boundaries don’t get set in a day. You’ve got to start small first, by letting some little thing you don’t like be known and rectified first. Then you can tackle other bigger issues like sexual preferences or work ethics. Start small and build your relationship on a stronger foundation.
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Take wise decisions!