I remember my first time very clearly and even though I regret no moment of it, I wish there were some things I knew before it happened. Sleeping with somebody, for the first time, whether in a relationship or just as a casual fling, can be a very intimate and personal act. And it is so very important that you ready for it physically and mentally. It is all too important to think your decision through and make sure both of you are on the same page. Here are 10 things you NEED to consider before sleeping with him for the first time!
Make sure you’ve discussed birth control options with him and both of you are very clear on who takes care of what form of birth control. Talk condoms, girl!
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Ask him if he’s been tested for STDs and STIs recently, especially if he’s had a sexual partner before you. Make sure you’ve been tested too. The only thing you are supposed to be giving each other is pleasure and not infections!
Ensure that you are in a safe space when it comes to the relationship. Is he mindful of your consent? Are your opinions respected? If the answer to such questions is no, it is advisable to first talk to your partner about your relationship and only then sleep with him.
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If it’s a one-time hook up or casual fling, it’s important to ensure that both of you are on the same wavelength regarding this. Both of you should have the right expectations otherwise hooking up becomes a messy affair!
Having unrealistic expectations about sex or your partner’s sexual prowess can set you up for a disappointment. Try letting loose and having fun. It takes a few attempts to get to know each other’s bodies but once you both do, sex will become magical (or get close to it)!
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The intent is always more important than actions. Make sure you trust him and know that his intentions are honourable. If you have the slightest of doubts, talk it out with him!
Before anyone else, you need to know your body well. It is important to understand what turns you on, what works for you and what your hard limits are. This will only make sex better for the both of you.
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Every relationship, no matter how great, runs the possibility of ending. Make sure that sleeping with him now will not mess you up emotionally in the future if your relationship ends.
Ideally, you should have sex only for the right reasons. Make sure you’re not doing it as a rebound or under pressure just to please your partner. You should be able to live with your reasons and your decision to sleep with him.
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No matter how cliche it sounds, emotions do get involved in sex, even in the most casual relationships. It’s only advisable to have sex when you’re emotionally at a place where you can handle your own emotions and his too if need be! Emotional stability is a must when you’re having sex.