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You’ve always been my pillar of strength. But there were certain moments I needed you, where I couldn’t call out to you! For the simple reason that I am your daughter and there are certain things I shouldn’t talk to you about. That night when I cried by myself to sleep after my first breakup, for example, I wanted you to hug me and tell me that he didn’t deserve my tears and someday I’ll find a person who loves me as much as you. I couldn’t, because you are the tough stern parent and I’m the timid daughter. But I love you and I need you to love me without these conditions that create a wall between us.
Open your mind dad, so I can open my heart to you!
So there’s this boy...and I really really like him. I wish I could get you to meet him. I want the two most important men in my life to know each other and do fun things together (or maybe just watch cricket, whatever works for you!).
No, I don’t want to be doctor, engineer or an accountant. I want to be a scuba diver or maybe be a travel photographer. They might not be the ‘safest’ career options but at least we could sit down and discuss them?
I don’t mean to sound like a PSA but you need to stop smoking like a chimney or drinking yourself to sleep every night because you’re stressed. I don’t know when you started or why but I want you to stop. But I can’t say this for you’re older and wiser and I’m just a girl.
There is too much on my plate and I don’t want to get married right now or maybe ever. Could you find it in your heart to tell that to bua ji who told you about the 10th guy I should meet last week?
There is a possibility that even if I get married, I wouldn’t want to have children. The logic is simple, dad, I don’t want to bring someone in this world simply because I should. I am not being stubborn or rebellious, that’s just the way it is.
I love my boyfriend and I have had sex with him. That doesn’t mean he is using me and no, we haven’t thought of marriage yet. But both of us enjoy being with each other. And though I know you are scared, maybe having sex is not that big a deal.
I want to stop thinking twice before telling you that I have cramps or I stained the bed sheet in my room or that I’m running out of pads and I need you to buy me a pack or a huge box of chocolates. It’s normal to me, shouldn’t it be normal to you too?
Your generation and mine don’t have much in common but this is one problem every woman faces. I need you to stand up against it in front of our relatives who think my job, my achievements aren’t important enough and my value only increases when I get married or start a family.
Please don’t tell me it’ll be okay, show me that it will be okay. Don’t fight for me but alongside me, empower me to be fearless because I have more faith in you than I do in myself.
Your Not-So-Timid Daughter
If you and your dad face a similar conversational barrier, here are a few books that’ll help you break the ice, just like the did with me.
Untangled by Lisa Damour (Rs 315)
Walking on Eggshells by Jane Isay (Rs 777)
Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng (Rs 330)
For the daughters:
All The Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr (Rs 318)
To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee (Rs 198)