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No matter how much we love a person, we’ve all been in that uncomfortable situation where our partner’s gestures have made us wonder if they are the person we want to spend our lives with. I mean, nobody wants a spouse who makes you feel less than adequate or is unreliable in times of need. And, why should you take any of it, really? You’re a rockstar and you deserve somebody who treats you like one.
That’s why, it becomes even more important to set boundaries and define the kind of behaviour that is unacceptable to you in a relationship. While my hard limits may be different from yours, there are some character traits that are universally unacceptable. If your man does any of the 10 things listed below, you really should not really marry him.
Marriage is all about equality between two partners. If he doesn’t treat you as an intelligent and independent individual at par with him, you might want to give it a second thought. After all, who wants to spend a lifetime being treated as a second-class citizen.
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Your partner needs to embrace your family and friends wholeheartedly. While he may not be fond of every person in your life, considering he’s human, he still needs to respect them because they matter to you. Disrespecting people that mean the world to you just goes to show how little he values your opinion. Now, that’s something you should never accept.
In a marriage, you need to know that you can depend on your husband and he will be your rock in difficult times. If your boyfriend, or fiance, has a history of not turning up at moments you need him, it might be a good idea to think twice because people rarely change after marriage.
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Feeling appreciated is a basic human need. Nobody likes feeling unnoticed or being taken for granted. If he does not acknowledge the things you do for him, may be going out of your way for him just isn’t worth it.
Once married, you do end up sharing your life with someone else and all the life-changing decisions need to be made mutually since your decisions may affect your partner’s life as well. So if he doesn’t even do that, the relationship is not worth the effort.
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While you can be as mysterious as you want with the world, your communication with your partner needs to be on point. If you suspect your partner is keeping secrets, ones that could potentially ruin your relationship, you need to sit down and have a conversation with them.
Your partner needs to be a priority. If you feel he’s not giving you enough importance or makes you feel like you’re not important enough, it’s time you pulled the emergency brake on the relationship.
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Your career needs to be just as important to him as his is to you. He shouldn’t see it as just something you do for ‘fun’. It’s important for him to acknowledge your dreams and ambitions and keep them in mind instead of disregarding them as frivolous. That’s not a man you want to end up with.
Immaturity can have no role to play in a relationship. You want to marry a man, not a boy, and there is a world of difference between the two. Life is a little difficult without the added pressure of dealing with a person who makes things worse instead of better.
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‘Don’t dig up old graves’ is a famous saying and for good reason. Every person wants a partner who can find constructive solutions to a disagreement instead of making it worse. A partner who works towards addressing your insecurities is much better than a partner who stretches a fight, just to win the argument.