I’ve never really got the courage to share my story with the world, but today I woke up and felt like writing this - the bittersweet story of my marriage and after.
It was in year 2013 that I met Anshul through some common friends and instantly took a liking towards him. He showed interest in me as well and for some reason, without even dating each other, we both decided to involve our parents at the very first step. Two months later we got married in a typical big, fat Indian wedding. I loved Anshul and I can’t express in words just how much he meant to me. He was my everything and I was so looking forward to sharing our lives together.
The initial days of our marriage were great and everything went on smoothly… just the way I had always dreamt. But slowly things started to change. I could sense that my in-laws were unhappy with the marriage or rather with the ‘gifts’ they received during and after the wedding. I had no idea but they had been calling my parents and asking them to apologise for not doing enough. I was furious to find that this had happened on more that just a few occasions. My parents are well educated and the only reason they did not bring this up with me was because they were scared it might cause issues in my marital life. I am their only daughter and they couldn't bear to see me unhappy.
My husband did not have a say in any of this. He never took a stand for me and never opposed a single thing his parents did. It even came to the point where they forced me to quit my job and take care of the house instead. My husband was mute throughout all of this. He said he loved me, I loved him too but my husband needed to support me and take a stand on what was right...which he never did. I finally took it upon myself to handle the situation. While initially I would never answer back out of respect, I soon started revolting and giving them a dose of their own medicine. Quite predictably, I was shown the door.
It was in December 2014 that I decided to call it quits. Sometimes you have to take a firm decision in life. For me, it was now. I still loved Anshul but my parents and my self respect was equally important. We never fought, but we mutually agreed upon divorce. No one from his side of family made an effort to sort things out. It was in August 2017 that we finally signed the papers. It was the most heartbreaking moment of my life.
But that’s not where it ends. A few days after the divorce I received a message from Anshul saying that he really loves me and can’t see a future without me in his life. He said he had to sign the papers under the influence of his parents. I still had feelings for him and it was just as hard for me to distance myself from him. So while we were divorced on papers, we still kept our relationship alive. We never dated before our marriage, but now we are. I don’t know what name to give this relationship or where it will lead… For now I’m happy I have Anshul back in my life without the extra baggage.
*Names changed to protect privacy
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