funny quotes

8 Funny AF Quotes By Women That’ll Have You In Splits!

Amrita Paul

Junior Lifestyle Editor

Female Comedians are brazen, fierce ladies who are stomping on the ‘women can’t be funny’ perception with their stiletto boots and sold-out standup shows and films all over the world. These wise-mouthed souls always have a thing or two to teach us about life and love.

Here are 8 funny quotes about love and life from female comedians!   

1. “It’s the 21st century. I don’t need an alpha male to protect me. I don’t need a big, strong man to fight off a tiger. I need a geek who can get my naked photos off the cloud.” - Whitney Cummings, Source

1 funny quotes

2. “If you text ‘I love you’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back.” - Mindy Kaling, Source

For more such sass, you have to read her book Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) (Rs 578)

3. “At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and then some Matthew McConaughey type either whips around the corner just in the nick of time to save her or is clumsily pulled down along with her. That event predictably leads to the magical moment of their first kiss. Please. I fall ALL the time. You know who comes and gets me? The bouncer.” - Chelsea Handler, Source

4. “I went home with this French guy because he said something adorable like, ‘I have an apartment.'” - Amy Schumer, Source

4 funny quotes

Schumer has narrated many such hilarious incidents in her memoir The Girl With A Lower Back Tattoo (Rs 240)

5. “I’d start my jokes on vaginal tightening cream by saying ‘I’m not a pervert or anything,’ when in reality I am a huge pervert. Today, I am done justifying myself.” - Aditi Mittal, Source

6. “Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.” - Tina Fey, Source

If you are a #GirlBoss, Tina Fey’s book Bossypants should be your ultimate go-to guide. (Rs 361)

7. “I don’t think a man who is fifteen years younger than me should tell me he is proud of me unless he is my sober coach or my time-travel dad.” - Amy Poehler, Source

7 funny quotes

8. “When you want to do something that isn’t the ‘norm’ you will be made to feel like you have a problem and if you hear it often enough then you start to believe it too.” - Radhika Vaz, Source

Vaz’s book Unladylike is a humorous account spanning four decades of her life. It’ll be your perfect weekend read. (Rs 219)

Which one did you like the best, ladies?

GIFs: Giphy

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Published on Sep 11, 2017
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