Initially, didn’t we all have unrealistic expectations when it came to sex? It was a shocker that reality happened to be so different. Over time, we’ve realized that sex cannot be as picture perfect as shown in movies. It does involve a little awkwardness, a lot of laughing and not so many sexy, brooding stares. Here are 11 hilarious ways sex in real life is very different from what sex looks like in movies!
Every time I watch a sex scene, I cringe and mentally scream at the couple because of all the unprotected sex. Where’s the condom, my friend? Do you want to get an STI or maybe get pregnant? In real life, everyone scrambles mid-sex to find and put on a condom! It is a hassle, but so worth it!
I’m still not completely over the fact that there were no candles or rose petals the first time I had sex. Other people I know didn’t have these things either. Wonder why movies always portray sex like this if I can’t replicate it in real life.
I’d always imagined that there would be music playing in the background whenever I had sex, thanks to the unrealistic expectations set by all the movies I’d been watching. Imagine my disappointment when that did not happen!
Movies are all about perfect camera angles. Sex in real life isn’t that pretty. And have these people ever heard of things like queefing that happen to us, real people?
In movies, everyone has bodies like that of Greek gods! You never see them struggling with problems like stretch marks, cellulite or body image issues. Real people have all of these and are sometimes conscious of it!
After sex, in movies, the characters go straight to sleep because they don’t have to deal with issues like parents being at home or roommates or even the threat of being caught. In real life, for people like us, we have to get dressed quickly and leave because we have things like curfews and concerned parents to deal with.
Having sex for the first time in movies are shown as easy-breezy. Real life is a different ball game altogether. You’re clumsy, all arms and legs, and really don’t know what to do. So don’t compare your first time to the movies. It’s rarely that awesome!
You hardly have the house to yourself and even if you do, sneaking him in is always an issue. Plus, you can’t just stay at somebody’s place for the night without at least a week of advance notice to your parents. How do these people in the movies conveniently find places to have sex whenever they want to? Let us in on the secret!
Sex would be easier for all of us if we could just shout ‘cut’ and redo the messy bits, just like the movies. Instead, in real life, we deal with these things with a little embarrassment and a lot of laughter!
Another major issue I have with films is the portrayal of shower sex. It isn’t the best thing ever and it’s really complicated for even a one-time attempt. Chances of an injury are really high too. As much as I love sex, I don’t want a head injury from slipping in my bathroom.
No matter when, both the characters in the movies are always ready to have sex. They are never too tired or just generally not in the mood. It’s all ‘wham-bam thank you ma’am’ for them!
Ain’t nobody got time for that. What do you think girls?
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